Let’s Kick Off “National Week of Action Against Predatory Gambling” And Voices From Beyond. . .

Hello and Welcome All Recovery Friends and Visitors,

This coming week is a big deal for me. I get together with the fine folks at Stop Predatory Gambling, Les Bernal, and staff to raise awareness about predatory gambling by our Government and by our States Lottery. Just about every state in the US has some form of state sponsored for-profit gambling offering. Now we all are pretty smart people as to know they are not making money and profits from gaming by the “once in a blue moon players.” NO, they are making profits off those who are the problem or addicted gamblers. And quite frankly that should be ILLEGAL. But since the Government approves it and so do the states, it is legal. HHHHHMMMMM.

Many have NO idea that Gambling Addiction is currently the #1 addiction with the highest suicide rate,  YES, that is over drug and alcohol addictions.  Please take some time to read this story which will touch your heart: Gambling Addiction Suicide – Lanie’s Hope as I shared Lanie’s story this time last year. It is heartbreaking to me that these suicides are happening at a faster 2x the rate than any other addiction and our Government is still cutting funding for treatment. Also, our State Lotteries are not giving enough money for funding required funding for treatment of those who become addicted to it. Where I came from, the State of Oregon, you can see the petty amount allotted for treatment in this article below. 1% is pretty embarrassing, to say the least  . . .

How funds are allocated – Oregon Lottery


“Over the years, Oregon voters have approved constitutional amendments allowing Lottery funds to be used for economic development (1984), public education (1995) and natural resources (1998). The Oregon Legislature transfers 1 percent of Lottery revenues every biennium to fund problem gambling treatment.”

And like in my previous posts, I am advocating and participating again this year for “The National Week of Action To Stop Predatory Gambling” along with my friend Ronda Hatefi and Les Bernal from Stop Predatory Gambling Website in HONOR of Ronda’s brother, Bobby Hafemann who took his own life due to gambling addiction. Now here are more Voice’s we will never hear like Bobby’s as they too felt they had no other options to STOP Gambling and are no longer with us  .  .  .

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“VOICES FROM BEYOND WE WON’T HEAR”

    “Gambling is a real drug for addicted players, who continue returning back to the casino every day and wasting all money there. And they don’t care about the spouses, that have already packed their luggage to leave, or children who don’t eat much because of money deficiency.”

And this is just the tip of the List!

LA – On Thursday, another fight about gambling steeled Jueliene Butler’s determination to leave her husband, as her children raced down the street on their bicycles and tricycles. The two shots that resounded through the neighborhood ended a tempestuous 26-year marriage between Rodney and Jueliene Butler in a murder-suicide heard by their 13-year-old daughter.
Times Picayune 5/8/98

IL – Each turned on the ignition of their Olds Regency after stretching a vacuum hose from the exhaust pipe into the car’s interior, climbing in and rolling up the windows. Carol, 63, was the obsessive gambler. Disabled and saddled with the monstrous debt she had created, Skip, 69 had wanted to join her. Undone by a ravenous habit that cost them $200,000, a house, a nest egg and two lives, it was Carol who left a terse hint of the forest of guilt and fear that had grown around them. Bexson and Carol Warriner chose suicide as a last exit from gambling habits.
Los Angeles Times 6/22/97

ATLANTIC CITY — An unidentified man hanged himself under the Boardwalk on Thursday, the third suicide outside a casino in the last three months, police said.
The Associated Press 6/9/00

ATLANTIC CITY — A 50-year-old Ventnor man apparently committed suicide Tuesday afternoon by jumping off the parking garage of a casino, police said.
LAS VEGAS SUN 4/5/00

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. (AP) — A German tourist jumped to his death off a 10-story casino parking garage Wednesday in the third such suicide in eight days.
The Associated Press 8/25/99

Atlantic City – Ex-casino worker leaps to death from roof of Trump Marina. He is the fifth person to jump from a casino here and die since August 1999.
South Jersey Publishing CO 5/27/00

Atlantic City – A bloodied body was found at the entrance to the Sands Casino Hotel parking garage just before 8 a.m. Investigators believe he fell two stories to his death but don’t know much more than that.
South Jersey Publishing 7/30/00

Atlantic City – The 36-year-old Florida man leaped seven stories to his death Tuesday after losing between $50,000 and $87,000 at Trump Plaza.
South Jersey Publishing Co. 8/19/99

CT – He had developed a gambling habit over the past few months that began on a trip to Las Vegas this summer. Police believe he was driving home from Foxwoods Resort Casino when, in desperation, he killed himself by hanging.
The Day Publishing 9/9/00


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Need help from Gambling Addiction or Problem Gambling? Call Today.


In Oregon:  call 1-877-MY-LIMIT (695-4648).

National Hotline:  call  1-800-522-4700 all days and hours for resources and referrals.

National Suicide Hotline: call Call  1-800-273-8255 24 hours a day.

Gamblers Anonymous –http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/hotlines
Find A Meeting: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/locations

For Family Help:  Gam-Anon: Family and friends of problem gamblers can find resources and a list of meetings at gam-anon.org or 718-352-1671.


 

Flash Backs of My Past With Mental Health, Undiagnosed . . . .

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“Sometimes we have to look back and remember what life was like before being finally diagnosed with a mental and emotional illness.  It is at times still difficult for me to talk about. I was first diagnosed in 2002 while in a behavioral and addictions crisis center via the hospital after my first failed suicide attempt, which included my severe gambling addiction.”

I happen to be reading a recent article I am about to share with you from the fine folks of “Psych Central” that hit home for me. It took me back years growing up before I was diagnosed with several mental health challenges, but looking back I remembered so many times I could pick out during my life that should have been possible warning signs for my parents, and “red flags” for me as I moved into adulthood.

I remember times when I was little, and would throw these awful tantrums from what my mother told me years ago, but I remember the aftermath when my mom would lock me in my bedroom and  I would be lying on my tummy watching the footsteps pass back and forth my bedroom door. Or, when I rode in the car I would rock forward and back, and it would drive my dad nuts, so  he would yell at me to stop! I always seemed to have to be moving and going all the time. Bipolar Anxiety I believe is what I was suffering. All of it had gotten worse after I had been sexually abused as a little girl. Hell, a lot came from PTSD I also was suffering but didn’t know or understand until I was diagnosed and when it came back to haunt me in my 30’s. It is some of why I turned to gambling.

In my teens, I would have times where I would be way up, happy, and chatty constantly and then? I would be very low, quite, and then isolate in my bedroom which now I know was depression, and kept right into adulthood. So, again, most of the article made me think back to those many memories and made them clear as to what was then, going on.
Many of us who were born in the early 60’s, and grew up in this period our parents had no clue about a mental illness. They just thought we were being fussy or just a bad kid. And yes, you can have anxiety and depression together. It is just a matter of which will be prevalent from day to day.

We know more today than ever with research, studies, and even with medications to treat the vast amount disorders. It is why we are seeing the explosion of many people coming out and talking about mental illness.  I hope this article will help others have “self-awareness” and not be afraid to get help if you suffer from any mental and emotional health problems.  .  .  .  .   As I watch the Democratic Convention today, right now, the first issues speakers are talking about? More Funding for Addiction and Treatment, and now Mental Illness. This is what we need. The people in our elected offices and government act and fund these issues.      *Author,Catherine Townsend-Lyon*

BIPOLAR LENSES/By   on
PsychCentral

Explaining utter darkness to someone who has only lived in the sunlight would be a difficult task. They would have to believe you and trust in something they have never experienced. If you haven’t experienced the darkness, perhaps after reading this you can help someone out of it.

Mania

When my eyes open in the morning, my mind goes from slumber to 100 mph. “I don’t know why I haven’t thought that! I need a (brain singing the Three’s Company theme song) new car! If I sold my current car and (dang I need a burger) sold my Xbox and TV I could afford the down payment and if I sell those baseball cards in the attic I can still pay rent! Wow! I am so handsome today! I know that I flunked out of college, but I am smarter than 90 percent of people so does it really matter? I want donuts. What DVDs do I have that I can sell to afford them?”

Hours later:

“Why did I sell that stuff? My wife is going to be so upset and those donuts were not worth it. Maybe I can buy them back. I’ll just need to grab my wife’s card when she is napping. No, I can’t because that will cause (you will do it) problems (you will do it) and (you will do it) I don’t want….

Back at the store:
“Didn’t you sell us these today?” (They noticed! You are so stupid!)

“Yes… I didn’t really mean to (you know they think you are crazy, right?)

Drive home:
“How do I explain this? (Say you got her birthday gift and it was a surprise! Her birthday isn’t for months and you can make that money back to really buy something!)

At home:
“I am so sorry I took your card, sweetie. I know I said I wouldn’t. Well, no, I feel fine. It wasn’t mania. Whatever.”

At night:
“I can’t sleep.” (You need a new guitar.)
“I want to sleep.” (Your kids will never love you when they experience what you are)
“I have to try to sleep.” (Work in seven hours) (Work in six hours) (Work in five hours)

At work:
Exceed in everything and then some due to my insane level of energy.

At home again:
“Can’t sit still … need to go.” (You are a terrible father) I just need to run to the store (stay with your kids, they love you. Are you a bad person?)
Rinse and repeat for a few weeks, then…

The middle

I am me. The Caleb I was when most of my old friends met me. The Caleb that loves to write music and play basketball. The Caleb that knows this can’t last long and soaks up every moment he can. I love the middle.

Depression

As I wake up, I wish I hadn’t. Take a look at my work to-do list and experience a high level of anxiety. That mental voice is not so active, but neither is mine. I feel a cloud of doubt and dread follow me all day, turning into a thunderstorm when faced with human interaction or hard times. The cloud sucks the life and desire for anything out of me.

I feel the weight of all my bad choices compounded with the reality that I am a finite being who will likely be forgotten soon after I am gone. Nothing I have done makes a difference to anyone. Trying to match my manic or normal self while depressed is next to impossible. I do not want to be around anyone due to the anxiety that they realize how messed up I really am. I try not to leave the house for as long as I can and wear the same clothes for as many days as I can.

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I sometimes plan to take my life, but when I see my children and imagine what their future looks like without a dad I change my mind. This time.I am not suggesting that mistakes someone makes while manic or depressed don’t count. But I am hoping you can see how choices made in the extremes haunt the individual.

If a friend ever comments they are contemplating suicide, get them immediate help however you can. 1-800-273-8255 is the suicide prevention hotline and dialing 911 is an acceptable option as well. If your friend was having a heart attack there would be no hesitation. If they mention killing themselves, then I promise they have thought about it seriously.

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Even the best friend in the world is no substitute for therapy. There are medical professionals who dedicate their lives to helping the mentally ill and it will do much more than any amount of “being there” can.

Take off the logical glasses you see life through and put on your empathy lenses. We might try to take advantage of your kindness. We might seem like we don’t care that you care. We might make you think we don’t appreciate you. But we appreciate it more than you can imagine. .  .  .

“HEAR MY VOICE of MENTAL ILLNESS” 

Recovery Guest Article By Author, Alek Sabin

“Why do others judge or make others who live life in recovery feel shame?  Does it come from having no understanding?  Could it be from lack of empathy for others?  Shame can stop others from getting help from addiction due to STIGMA. That is what our Featured Article is about today.”

 

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                  The Ways We Shame People

Perhaps to a great detriment, people have a strong tendency to shame other people for a variety of reasons. This type of behavior isn’t exactly healthy, and can often lead to a variety of problems for the individuals who are being shamed, as well as for those who do the shaming. While shame can be a natural feeling that is experienced when we do something wrong, trying to influence human behavior by leaning too heavily on shame can have more adverse effects than positive ones. Despite this simple truth, however, there are a variety of things that people are frequently shamed for in our modern society. The reality, though, is that there are often much better ways to approach many of these issues in a way to accomplish change. In that spirit, here is some information about the ways that people are shamed…

Addiction

Addiction is a huge, imminent threat to millions of people around the world, as well as our country. It is currently an epidemic that is breaking apart countless lives. Reasonably, many in society are terrified of this reality and react to it by attempting to shame those who suffer from addiction, in the hopes that they might retract their current ways. However, addiction is a mental disease that cannot be broken by simply shaming someone. Indeed, this type of behavior will usually only serve to push those who suffer from addiction further into the fold and out of the arms of those who want to love and help them. This is, perhaps, one of the most destructive examples of shame in the modern world, and one that we must do away with if we are to have an honest conversation about addiction. For more information about this important topic, check out this informative article here.

Sex

While there are certainly many negative behaviors that can be involved around sex (which would probably be classified as sex addiction, and fall under the category above), there is also a great tendency to put shame on those who have different feelings about sexual activity than we do. This makes sense, to a degree. To many people, sex is a very intimate and sacred bond. However, the simple truth is that there are many people in today’s culture who don’t have those same associations. By placing shame on people who practice sexual habits outside of a more traditional view (assuming they’re consensual), we are creating a disruptive cultural divide that is splitting up communities. Rather, than using shame to attack people who engage in sexual activity, we should be attempting to educate people on dangers that might be involved in these activities, but without the shame.

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Body type

Body shaming is a practice that is so commonly engaged in, that many people who think of themselves as very reasonable, accepting individuals likely still do it, even without realizing it. This is something that is experienced with people who are either over-, or under-weight. Unless there is an imminent health concern, nobody should feel obligated to radically change their body type, simply because other people have notions of what they should look like. The truth is, if it doesn’t affect someone else, then they really shouldn’t care what you look like. An individual’s body image is something that should be left to themselves, or, perhaps, their partner. Otherwise, it is usually just a case of someone sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Shaming is often a distraction

When people engage in activity that involves shaming someone else, it usually isn’t actually about the other person, but a personal struggle that this particular individual is going through. Shaming other people is a very negative coping mechanism for those who are dealing with their own personal battles. At times, it may seem like shaming is a valid way for that person to make themselves feel better, but this isn’t a fulfilling way to live life.

Shame is often counterproductive

The ironic thing about shaming other people is that it usually yields the opposite effect of inspiring them to make a change. It is a stressful experience to be shamed, and it often only pushes people further into the negative behavior that they are being shamed for. An example of this is addiction where addicts will continue to turn to substances to escape from this perceived shame.

By Author, Alek Sabin  . . . .

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I wanted to close this article with a little of my own experience of how others shamed me. When working at a community center as part of a past poor choice I made within my gambling addiction, let’s say I had a wee bit of trouble with the law.

As part of my court sentence, I had to complete many hours of community service. I was working at the Senior Center one day, and I was working in the kitchen with a couple of other girls from my correctional jail center. There were a couple of old ladies who came in to start working; one lady turned to the other woman who just got there. The woman asked another where she should put her purse and sweater until they were ready to go home?

One lady told her, “Well, you better put it in a safe place because we have criminals working with us from the jail today.” And she said it loud enough and acted like us “criminals” were not standing right there while she said it! Like we were going to steal things out of their purse’s WOW! Talk about making us feel SHAME. 

I can honestly say that was the first time the full force of what I had done within my addiction came to slap me in the face. Yes, I had made one bad mistake in my life. But I was taking accountability and ownership for what I had done. But the comment she made didn’t sting any less.
I felt this woman didn’t know ME. To me, that is what ignorance, stigma, and judgment of others looked liked   . . .

I thank Alex again for this wonderful guest article today!
Author, Catherine Lyon

 

 

Come Meet The Alcohol Expert Author Scott Stevens.

Come Meet The Alcohol Expert Author Scott Stevens.

“Recovery readers, you all are in for a treat today as I am Happy to Welcome Author, Scott Stevens and his addiction and recovery collection of award-winning books about alcoholism, stigma and more. He even is the creator of his own Alcohology App, How Cool Is That?” So let’s learn more about Author, Scott Stevens and his books, which includes a new release. Make sure you go visit the app below!
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Here is his New Book Release!


(Now Available on Amazon & Barnes and Noble)
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So where do I begin? Scott and I had met not long ago. We both are contributing writers for a fantastic Treatment Directory at Addicted Minds  . . . The founder, Matthew Steiner introduced us through LinkedIn, as Scott was interested in help with his book promoting efforts and? BAM!! I work for him now! LOL.

Now seriously, he is a fantastic writer and he shares his knowledge of alcoholism, recovery and message through YouTube as well here: #66 Video On Alcohol & Recovery … So let’s learn more about this “man of mystery” and his newest book release.

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Scott Stevens
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About The Author:

Scott is an author and fantastic freelance writer of many articles about alcoholism with some humor and wit. But he is also a great dad to his kids as well.

Scott, a former mutual fund industry executive, Scott blends wit, journalistic objectivity, blunt personal dialogue and no-nonsense business perspective to his three books he has managed to write within his busy life. His books, 2010’s “What the Early Worm Gets,” 2013’s Indie Book Awards finalist, “Every Silver Lining Has a Cloud” and 2015’s “Adding Fire to the Fuel,” his newest offering. He regularly addresses conferences around the country — including the REEL Recovery Film Festival — on the latest trends in the field of alcohol use disorders.  He is also a 2015 SAMHSA Voice Award nominee.
He also runs:
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Men For Sobriety

Wednesday Evenings, 7:30 P.M. Agape Recovery Center, 201 N. Pine St. Burlington

Learn more in this feature article on Men for Sobriety in The JournalTimes (Racine, Wis.) 5/14/14 . . .

“MFS Doesn’t Dwell On The Past, But On The Present And The Future.”
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Scott is a journalist, posting regularly on health and alcohol issues for online news services and is a founding influencer at the world’s largest medical portal, HealthTap. Many popular alcohologists on air and on bookshelves have stellar credentials, but few have had to eat their own cooking. Stevens blends his stunning personal 86-proof-two-liters-a-day story with thorough research into alcoholism, sobriety, relapse and recovery. But Scott will be the first to tell you that his time with his kids comes first. . . And, if that wasn’t enough?

His life experiences, Scott has met seven Presidents of the United States, flown with the Navy’s Blue Angels, piloted a Los Angeles Class nuclear submarine and driven a NASCAR at 140-mph on a one-mile oval. Wow!

I’m tired already! What a busy life to be of recovery service to others. That is how Scott helps others in recovery and reaching out for understanding about alcoholism. Lastly, Scott the football fan and avid golfer, he holds a Master’s in Public Affairs Journalism from the University of Illinois – Springfield, he lives in the Midwest with his children.

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(Author Scott Stevens & The Kids).
About His New release:

Product Details
(click book to buy & e-book only $2.99!)
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“A not-so-silent thief makes off with $226 billion, every year, robbing the economy, flooding hospitals, clogging courts. And landing million-dollar spots in the year’s biggest televised sports events.“It” is alcohol. Not terrorism. Not obesity. Not cancer or diabetes or Ebola or any other disease. It’s alcohol. We’ll spend more to combat these other scourges that cause less turmoil and financial damage while alcohol rules the roost, the clubhouse, and the corner office.

The third-leading cause of preventable death and illness stays under the radar because of good advertising and bad stigma. Its purveyors are proclaimed as charitable kings. Those who use it and discover alcohol has health and social consequences are labeled as villains, kill-joys, weak, weird, or morally off.

The stigma of alcohol use disorders, treatment, and recovery which keeps the discussion of what alcohol does to you behind the wishful-thinking-driven chatter about what it does for you. The tipping point has passed. The status quo: No longer sustainable or acceptable.

Adding Fire to the Fuel examines:
How families and communities feed public and self-stigma even while the stigma holds them back; How stigma has become a barrier to many who want help; How to hang on to sobriety in a pro-alcohol world; And how PANonymous alcoholics will reduce stigma more than all the protests combined.”
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Now where can you connect with Author, Scott Stevens? Well just about everywhere on social media! That’s where. LOL, and here a just a few places to do just that.

On both his fantastic websites:  The Alcohol Author ~ Scott Stevens
And on BlogSpot Video Series Author, Scott Stevens ~ Health Journalist
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And Connect with Scott at these Fine Social Media sites below. . .

Check out the Trailer for “The A-Files” coming soon!
Project Trailer Scott Stevens

Scott’s video’s each week: Scott’s YouTube Video’s
Add Me To Your Google+ Circle
Follow Me On GoodReads
Connect With Scott on Twitter
All My Books & Amazon Author Page
Go “Like” his Facebook page.
Addicted Minds Writer ~ Alcohol Author

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Product Details
(click book to Amazon)
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About The Book ~ Silver Lining

Nine out of ten people who quit drinking relapse at least once. “Every
Silver Lining Has a Cloud” shows why it’s not just once… without
pithy slogans or trademarked solutions. From the author of “What
the Early Worm Gets,” a startling book defining Alcoholism, here’s a
book explaining how and why relapse happens, how to hold it at bay
and why every American should care. Sobriety is a state of illness and
its symptoms, left untreated, lead directly to lapse. Addressing the
Symptoms of Sobriety is essential.
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Why would any sober Alcoholic return to the misery?
What are the Symptoms of Sobriety and how do Alcoholics and non-Alcoholics guard against them?
What four overlooked stressors trip up recovery?
Can you hit bottom sober?
The narrative dashes along peaks of anger, joy, desperation, relief and
hope interspersed with solid data on the disease and guidance for
avoiding relapse traps.
It’s not enough to just stop drinking. . .

Now that I have shared just about all you need to know about this fantastic writer and author?
Here are a few Amazon Book Reviews of how much readers have enjoyed about Scott’s books.

Amazon Reader Reviews:

Scott Steven’s extremely readable “Every Silver Lining Has A Cloud” is SUCH an important work! Powerful, clearly written, enormously informative, this book taught me not only about the emotional rollercoaster an alcoholic takes, but also about the chemical science of alcoholism, which basically stacks the genetic biochemical deck against him or her.

Scott also goes into Al-Anon, the legal system, and the futility of incarceration programs as well as how dysfunctional families play such a large role in alcoholism. Peppered throughout the book are well-versed truisms and great chapter opening quotes, which I personally thought added an extra punch to it all. And lest you think this book is like so many other self-help books, filled with one unprovable case study after another, here, every eye-opening statement or life example is backed up by worthy sources. A true find for everyone! HIGHLY recommended!

Another Amazon Reader:

“Scott Stevens has again written another very powerful and necessary book. The stigma attached to being an alcoholic or recovering alcoholic is overwhelming and Scott explains and goes far to share what needs to be done to erase that stigma.

Scott’s statistics, research, and facts in Adding Fuel are awesome and very useful … especially for people like me who work with people and families who are dealing with alcoholism. There is no room for blame or shame and certainly no labeling when it comes to people who are in recovery. I have never seen those things work for anyone. Many people do want to get sober or clean but, the fear of being “found out,” keeps them from taking the first step into recovery. I truly wish I could get this book into the hands of every teacher, doctor, rehab in the world. It is an eye-opener and it left me feeling hopeful. Thank you again for writing this Scott.”
Highly Suggest This Book!
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Recovery Guest Author presented by, “Recovery Starts Here” of Author, Catherine Lyon 

Double Feature Spotlight ~ Lets Talk Gambling & Mental Health

Hello and Welcome Recovery Friends & Visitors,

I thought I would share a few special people with you today. It has been a while since I have shared about how things have gone with my mental health since starting at a new behavioral center here in Arizona. I also want to introduce a couple of friends that are awesome when it comes to writing and sharing about these topics that touch my life, and the lives of many.

My first is a new Guest Author, Paisley Hansen who has shared a wonderful article she wrote with me about living with mental health, but feeling self-conscious which we know can come from stigma around mental/emotional illness. So lets read how to stay in the positive and leave stigma behind!

Over Coming Self-Consciousness
By: Paisley Hansen

Self-awareness can be a healthy tool. With it, you have an idea how to behave and present yourself. However, when you become obsessed or anxious about how other people perceive you, then it becomes self-consciousness. Not everyone is taking notice of you. In fact, most people give half as much attention you give yourself. Unhealthy self-consciousness feels like everybody is scrutinizing you as if the spotlight is on you. Your attention goes to your body, clothes, face and voice — basically anything you think people would take notice and dislike.

You need to overcome unhealthy self-consciousness to fully express yourself. You need to stop worrying too much about how other people perceive you. Some people are naturally shy; they don’t like to be the center of attention but they enjoy life and can socialize normally. You are self-conscious when you objectify yourself and hijack your ability to perform complex and even simple actions. There are several studies that show the correlation of low self-esteem and drug abuse. No one has to end up in drug rehab centers. How do you overcome self-consciousness naturally?
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Ditch Your Negative Thoughts

Your self-esteem is the summary of your personal worth. Confident people can accept criticisms and rejection because deep inside they have a good self-esteem. You are self-conscious because they fear that other people will agree with the negative thoughts you think of yourself. Be aware of how you feel when you’re in situations that trigger your self-consciousness. Take note of your inner self-talk that accompanies the feeling. When you start feeling embarrassed and tense, tell yourself “stop!” Don’t let the negative thoughts grow bigger.

Shift Your Attention

Self-consciousness is a selfish feeling. All you think about is how you appear. You will feel less self-conscious when you shift your attention away from your appearance and actions. When you’re talking to other people, listen closely to what they’re saying. Think of a response. When you’re walking, observe your environment and other people. Relax and imbue a sense of humor to your life. Use your imagination to perhaps think that people around you are colored pink to shift your attention to them. It is when you over think that you end up acting poorly.

Practice Self-Affirmation Techniques

Self-conscious people have negative self-affirmations. They believe the negative thoughts about themselves and expect other people to affirm them. Write at least ten positive self-affirmations and repeat them to yourself in front of the mirror before leaving the house and before sleeping. Whenever you’re feeling self-conscious in the middle of the day, stop what you’re doing and breathe deeply for five seconds and then repeat your positive affirmations to yourself. You can search online for positive affirmation to boost self-confidence and banish self-consciousness or you can formulate your own affirmations.

Accept Yourself

If you want to be perfect, you’re being too harsh on yourself. Accept that you cannot please anyone, but don’t let healthy self-acceptance hinder you from improving yourself. There is a fine line between trying to win other people’s approval and making you a better person. If you don’t accept yourself, nobody will do it for you. Those who spiral down to drug addiction often suffer low self-esteem because they can’t accept themselves. They found comfort in drugs and soon need drug rehab therapies to be independent from substance abuse.

Watch         Your         Body         Language

Your mind influences your body language and vice versa. When you’re feeling self-conscious, your body language will show it. Avoid crossing your arms, fidgeting with your nails and playing with your hair. Maintain a welcoming body language when you want people to approach you  . . . .
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These are all good idea’s to help you gain and keep your self-confidence at a high level. Let’s face it, there are people in the world who just don’t have an open mind when it comes to those who maybe a “little different” than others. I just learned to ignore that. LOL. My next share is a good friend of mine from LinkedIn. His name is Brian Norwood, and he has done me a wonderful favor by reading my book.

And if that wasn’t enough? He also shared his thoughts on a wonderful blog/website he writes for called; Journal For Life” ~ People Helping People.  Brian N. of Journal For Life ~ Article   So I thought I would share a little of what he wrote and shared there about my book. I think most all of us who live life recovery have some form of journal or diary we write in. Brian happened to read an earlier blog post of mine about,  “Why I Write.” And my book became a book thanks to my many journals I have written in over the years in recovery. So here is what Brian shared.

About Brian N. of Journal For Life

Brian N.

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I am a retired instructor. My career includes teaching in all areas of personal development and emotional management.
I love living life in harmony with the natural universe.
I am a devoted husband and proud father to two beautiful daughters.
My personal pleasures include fly fishing, riding horses, and motorcycles. I hope to soon be dabbling in watercolour paints. I am an advisorContact Brian N.


It Won’t Happen To Me ~ By: Brian N.

I was probably nine years of age when my dad and I stopped at a small country fair.  It was all very exciting, with rides whirling, people jostling this way and that, and with mysterious tents all lined in a row.

My dad positioned me off to the side and told me to wait there.  So there I was, just gawking at everything, when suddenly the tallest man I had ever seen appeared almost right in front of me.

He was at least 7 feet tall and was wearing the biggest top hat I had ever seen.  He wore long striped trousers with a bright red jacket.  He walked up two wooden steps, then stood atop a small wooden platform at the entrance to a tent.

He was mesmerizing to look at, and his voice boomed out over the crowd with a musical rhythm.

“Step right up… Ladies and Gentlemen and change your fortune.”

“For only the cost of one thin dime… One tenth of a dollar… The smallest coin of any real monetary value … you can change your life forever.”

“You Sir, you Madam, try your luck…  All you need to do to be a winner is drop your little silver coin in this slot.” he said pointing to some kind of machine I hadn’t noticed before next to the entrance from which he had appeared.

“All you do is pull the lever and watch your good fortune change before your eyes, and remember the taxman will never know what you put in your pocket.”

I remember an odd-looking man in a straw hat walk up to the machine.  I couldn’t see him put in anything, but he pulled the lever, and nothing seemed to happen.  Then the big man bellowed: “It doesn’t work every time… Put in another dime, Sir.”

The customer inserted another coin and pulled the lever.  Suddenly bells rang out, people shouted and the man had to use his straw hat to catch-all the spilling coins. “Inside Ladies and Gentleman; Step inside and try your luck.” bellowed the pitch man and I watched a whole stream of men walk into that tent.

When we were back in our car my I told my dad we could get rich for just a dime.  That was the first time my dad told me about gambling.

“They keep a special machine outside the tent” he explained.  “It is rigged to pay out one of every three times you pull the handle, so it looks like you are going to win.  The machines in the tents are weighted different, they’ll keep all your money son, every last dime.”

Catherine Townsend-Lyon

So perhaps you can understand why I am so enthralled by the title of Catherine’s book, “Addicted to Dimes.”

Today I wish to introduce you to her personal story about suffering through a Gambling Addiction.  With courage and conviction, she strips bare her soul to reveal her pain, her climb back and gives testimony how journaling helped her make the journey.

GAMBLING IN AMERICA

For the most part the 40 Billion dollar a year industry seems harmless enough.  It is estimated 85% of all Americans try a little gambling in their life time.  No problem, unless you become one of the 6 to 8 million Americans struggling with a gambling addiction every year.  Every compulsive gambler cost the economy an average of $16,000 per year.

Gambling usually takes its victims down hard and fast;  Much faster than say alcohol.  As the gambling victim starts to lose heavy, they double up their bets in a desperate effort to win it back, instead they lose it all.

Fifty percent of those suffering will commit crimes to feed their addiction.  Almost 90% will suffer from or develop other addictions such as alcohol, or drug abuse.

Gambling is an equal opportunity disease;  It cares not about your race, education, sex, income or age.  Many people caught in the clutches of uncontrollable gambling, had prior to their addiction, lived normal productive, even inspiring lives envied by others.

After reading Catherine’s personal story I wouldn’t bet my hard-earned money that the gambling compulsion couldn’t get a hold of you or me.  Or that it won’t sneak in the back door via a loved one and destroy your family.

If it can happen to this lady then it can happen to you.

Product Details

Addicted to Dimes (Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat) $5.99 to  buyKindle Edition

Happy Reading!

 

 

My Good Friend David Wilson Has Done It Again ~ Right To Our Hearts For The Holidays …

Hello Recovery Friends, Readers, and Welcome New Visitors,

Happy Holidays! Thanks for stopping by. . . Well my wonderful friend David Wilson of  “Give It Thought” has shot another positive message right into my HEART! And even though this message is not recovery specific, I felt the do fit for those of us who do live our lives in recovery. His website is always packed with so much Love & Encouragement that it is worth the visit!  http://giveitathought.com  By, David Wilson.

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“A True Long Term Relationship is When Someone, Accepts Your Past,
Supports Your Present and Encourages Your Future”
        ~ Author Unknown ~ 

To develop a true relationship, honesty is of the utmost importance. Since this will be a lifetime investment, each of you should know and accept the others past.
A heart to heart discussion of each other’s past should include topics such as credit history, medical issues, and family history.  The both of you should know where the other comes from and each should accept the past of the other. You should know your companion before you make a lifetime commitment. Neither of you should want to change the other, but accept one another for “Who They Are”. You need to be willing to support each other’s lifestyle and be willing to give the relationship time, patience and understanding.

Keep in mind the golden rule of relationships, “Appreciate Each Others Similarities and Respect the Differences”.

Each other’s dreams are meaningful and relevant. These dreams need to be encouraged, researched and explored.
Help one another to become their best by showing support and encouraging them to follow their dreams.
Always remember the saying, “Love Does Not Consist of Gazing at Each Other, But in Looking Together in the Same Direction”.  Know each other’s past and accept it. Support one another and help each other grow each day. Encourage your companion to follow their dreams into the future.
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Give It A Thought!!!
Dave
P.S.  May Your Week Be Full of Opportunities!!!
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*See, now if that is not good solid advice, I don’t know what is? This can be done in our own recoveries as well. It makes sense as we learn to make our amends in relationships we may have broken will active in our addiction. And since we have to set boundaries around “Old Friends”, this may be sound advice to help make new friends.It can also be said, for those who don’t understand that others can turn lives around and become better people in recovery. It can help “Shatter Stigma” of those of us who may have lost our way in addiction, but become better people in recovery. For those who don’t understand addictions, we are people with feelings and a heart. We can and DO change. So our past we should not be Judged by or Our Past Does not Define the caring people we have become in recovery. Everyone deserves a second chance in life. I myself had many people, even in my community that I was able to makes amends and be trusted, and respected again after my Detour with Addiction, and now a Beautiful Life in Recovery!*
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God Bless Recovery Friends and Readers,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon XOXO
PSS… And, my book would make a ‘Recovery or Memoir Reader’ in your life!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485

 

 

 

Important Recovery After Thoughts From Actor, Robin Williams In His Own Past Haunting Words…

“Robin Williams, Actor & Comedian describes his lifelong struggle with addiction that today is a ‘Haunting Awareness’ he had about recovery from addictions.
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It’s a recovery legacy, an addiction awareness that he left for those of us who live life in recovery. Even though he lost HIS battles yesterday of addiction, recovery, and battle with mental health issues, he left this message, these past quotes for all of us to know, understand, and take to heart.
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When will this trend of suicides due to ‘Dual Diagnosis’ of addiction relapse & mental illness? It’s time to STOP the government CUTS to proper Mental/Emotional Health & Recovery Services from Addictions! There are thousands of us out here who are not famous, or have the money for these almost always very expensive recovery and mental health services and treatment centers. But even when you have the $$$$, like Mr. Williams, guess it really didn’t help him now did it?
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Snippets Of Mental Illness, Addiction & Recovery After Thoughts In His Own Words…
 

It’s not easy, and it’s a very POWERFUL example of the daily battles we can have, and even long-term recovery people can have a life threatening RELAPSE at anytime.
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“It waits,” he told “Good Morning America” in 2006. “It lays in wait for the time when you think, ‘It’s fine now, I’m OK.’ Then, the next thing you know, it’s not OK. Then you realize, ‘Where am I? I didn’t realize I was in Cleveland.”
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Williams, the comic whirlwind known for his hilarious stream-of-consciousness ramblings, was found dead Monday after the 63-year-old hung himself in his San Francisco Bay Area home in perhaps his final attempt to silence the demons that relentlessly targeted him.
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”Cocaine for me was a place to hide. Most people get hyper on coke. It slowed me down,” he told People in 1988.
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“The Belushi tragedy was frightening,” Williams told People. “His death scared a whole group of show-business people. It caused a big exodus from drugs. And for me, there was the baby coming. I knew I couldn’t be a father and live that sort of life.”
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“I was in a small town where it’s not the edge of the world, but you can see it from there, and then I thought: drinking. I just thought, ‘Hey, maybe drinking will help.’ Because I felt alone and afraid,” he told the newspaper. “And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn’t.”
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“One day I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniel’s. And then that voice —I call it the ‘lower power’ — goes, ‘Hey. Just a taste. Just one.’ I drank it, and there was that brief moment of ‘Oh, I’m OK!’ But it escalated so quickly. Within a week I was buying so many bottles I sounded like a wind chime walking down the street.”
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“You know, I was shameful, and you do stuff that causes disgust, and that’s hard to recover from. You can say, ‘I forgive you’ and all that stuff, but it’s not the same as recovering FROM it.”
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“Just as the gay rights movement only gained momentum when individual men and women summoned the courage to “come out,” I believe it is time for those of us who have struggled with depression to stand up and be counted.To understand depression and to reduce its stigma, we need to pull back the veil to show its familiar face”. 
“So I am officially coming out of the closet”.

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*My own after thoughts? Robins Williams death makes me feel some FEAR if I’m open and honest here. Is this what I have to look forward to because I live my life in recovery and battle mental illness? I can’t help but wonder, and makes me a bit edgy.
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We can still learn a lot from a man who truly put into words his past battles with addiction, recovery, and severe depression. The answer to my question from my earlier post of the non-famous that passed away yesterday? The other nameless people who were NOT in the headlines, or made national news? HOW many nameless people die from mental/emotional illness’s & addictions by SUICIDE EVERYDAY? … Here is our ANSWER.
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SUICIDE:
Suicide (Latin suicidium, from sui caedere, “to kill oneself”) is the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. Suicide is often committed out of despair, the cause of which is frequently attributed to a mental disorder such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder,[1] alcoholism, or drug abuse.[2] Stress factors such as financial difficulties or troubles with interpersonal relationships often play a role. Efforts to prevent suicide include limiting access to firearms, treating mental illness and drug misuse, and improving economic development. Although crisis hotlines are common, there is little evidence for their effectiveness.
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  • Older age is associated with increased risk of suicide; people above the age of 65 are at the greatest risk for death by suicide.
    Approximately one million people commit suicide each year worldwide, that is about one death every 40 seconds or 3,000 per day. For each individual who takes his/her own life, at least 20 attempt to do so. Suicide has a global mortality rate of 16 per 100,000 people.

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