I Enjoy Sharing Blog Friends Informative Posts. Meet “Oh My George”… ‘No Judgement’… Share Kindness.

rightmind


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Before I share some of my friend who is in the UK,  and George Boyle’s blog post here about “judging others,” we all know in the addiction/recovery arena and in the literary arena we see people being unkind or judging others’ recovery choices, advocacy or when we have published our books readers or reviewers can be unkind. It may be in a comment on our blog or, again, in leaving a book review. We need to share and speak out when others have No Understanding or Empathy for others Mental and Emotional Challenges …

My mom raised me to be “KIND” wth my “WORDS” as always said: “If you can’t say something “kind” or “corrective”? Then Don’t Say Anything at ALL.”

I think everyone should go back to this motherly advice. Doesn’t it take less energy to be positive or kind than it does to be hurtful or negative? I think so.

So my hope is everyone who reads this post will absorb some of the lessons and feelings in this post. Again, “Kindness is Golden”…OH, And? “Never Judge a Book By It’s Cover Alone.”

~Catherine Lyon

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#NoJudgment … Mental Health Awareness … By George T. Boyle.

What do I mean by this?

I realize that within my blogs and possibly my book there are typos, there are grammar errors, etc.

And yet does this put you off from reading the content and understanding its meanings?

In some instances, it is enough of a reason for some people to not even open the book when its cover displays this.

Have you ever thought that maybe it may be the reason an author has done this to grab your attention to it, or maybe that the author or writer is so overwhelmed by other things that they will love someone to come and give support to the amazing content and work they are trying to achieve and the message I am putting out there to the world within my words in conscious thought flow.

We as humans often react in fear and give excuses in the words with people to actually engage with them in positive ways.

We create words and content which can push people away in the words we use, then we only react to the words we use, and then we only get the outcome we create from the words and thoughts we use to each other.

I love my amazing friend for prompting me to write this because all I hear in words at times are excuses for interaction which follows a reaction of no interaction then an action of no interaction or communication.

And I become frustrated at this and asked them what they are doing to themselves or to what sort of outcome they are looking for from life when they are only creating blocks in thought which are then being communicated in words, creating that action and reaction from the person creating the disempowering thought-forms.

I was having a bad day, as I was awaiting a tooth pulled out and it’s been creating enough distraction in thoughts as well as weird anxiety or energy that day,  so I reached out to my friend. This friend didn’t focus on the words I was expressing or wasn’t compassionate in response to say “hey, how can I make your day better?”

The communication went to crap because my friend wasn’t focusing on how to create a positive open communication with me and they then made a decision to close communication because they reacted with the excuse of judgment and words which were creating more stress and anxiety within me which created a conversation flow off of nothing and a ZERO outcome.

Why did this happen?

Because that person didn’t react towards the other person with compassion any empathy, and love, only with a thought flow and reaction and in words of blaming the other person for reaching out to them, and used words to close down the conversation and making ME the blame for having a bad mental health day.

So what can we do to ensure when someone says: “they’re having a bad day we can react in a way toward them with words that are focused on helping them get through that.

Rather than judging them for them contacting you, for someone trying to reach out to them because they were having a bad day, they weren’t coping well with there mental health that day and then making the conversation about you and how the person who had reached out for support was wrong for doing so at that moment. Just looking to ease the anxiety of the other person and open conversation to create love in the form of communication.

“The more we release the fear and judgment around our lives we end mental health because we react to each other with unconditional love and compassion.”

We don’t read a book by its cover alone …

We read of the content within it.

Yet if you are only looking for an excuse to judge a book my book by its cover? Then you are not really taking the time to read it, nor making the effort or focus to find out what is within it. Your only making an excuse in your own thoughts because that book created a negative thought about it as to open it up or delve inside and lose your fear in loving the book.

How can we reframe the way we think and react towards other people?

THE ANSWER Can be Found by going over to Visit George’s Blog and finishing reading how this Story Ends Right Here:   By George T. Boyle.

For many of us who have mental health challenges, we look to other avenues and platforms to share our experiences and day to day challenges with our mental health.  Some ways I and George accomplish this are through our books our writings and blog posts. Advocacy and sharing one’s story and experiences does help shatter stigma, and it lets others know who suffer that they are not alone. 

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“Life Is To Short To Be Unhappy In Recovery”!

Hello And WELCOME Recovery Friends, Seekers, and New Friends,

 

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Can We Have The GOOD LIFE In Recovery? Can We Be HAPPY?


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I just happened to be tweeting on my Recovery Twitter here @LUV_Recovery and came across this pic. I just seemed to gravitate to it, and my mind started to WONDER!…LOL.
And we all know what seems to happen when my “Recovery Mind” does that so look out!  You never know what falls out of my mouth and into a Recovery Blog Post! I always blame that part of my mouth on just being an Italian! Yeah I know, excuses, excuses. And where did I learn that “habit”? Need I go on?
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But seriously, when I seen this, it made me think of many things when I was still addicted gambling and drinking. The BIG thing was the time lost from my life that I will never get back. That’s why it is true when people say, “Life Is To Short.” What about being happy? When we were in the throes of our addiction, happy to me meant having to lie about how I was really feeling inside myself. You know what I mean right? How we learned to “mask” our true feelings on the BAD DAYS we were having in our addictions. Trying to make our outer person look perfect to others. Those fake smiles, and brag about how much money I was winning when I gambled, but really wasn’t! All the while the “RAGE” of shame, doubt, hate, blame, low self-worth, and feeling, “LESS THAN” each time we used or gambled. For me it got even worse when I first tried to stop gambling and drinking. Because each time I gambled, I entered the “RECOVERY TWILIGHT-ZONE”!!
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Now I know you KNOW what I’m talking about right? It’s that long period when we think we can GET better by going to meetings, and try treatment, but we really haven’t Surrendered Yet. That time when SHIT we hear in our meetings and treatment group starts to sink in just a wee little bit, but we are still in the mindset that we can still CONTROL bits and pieces of our addiction right? Who were we fooling? NOBODY! Just ourselves! BUT, then this “stuff” we hear starts to interrupt our addiction a little here and there. I remember when I started an outpatient gambling treatment group and therapy, one of the first things my councilor said to us was this, “Even if you come here to treatment group, and still go out and use (drink & gamble), these things we teach you will start to POP UP in your head WHILE your out using.”
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And you know what? She was SPOT ON! When I’d relapse and go out and gamble, all this crap I was learning started to make an appearance in my mind and thinking! Gosh it annoyed the hell out me! For me, at first in early recovery, it made me feel even more doubtful, self loathing and low self-worth. See, recovery is a process, a life long process. No, lapse & relapse does not have to be part of one’s recovery, but it does happen for some. WHAT’S the difference you ask?
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A “lapse” is just a “ONE TIME SLIP”…..a “relapse” is when you have that slip, but you continue back into the “Cycle” of the addiction, and you relapse over and over. I did this a lot on and off until 2006, after 2 crisis center stays, and after attempting 2 failed SUICIDES, most recent was in 2006. I got myself tangled in a criminal event from my gambling addiction. That’s when I started, and got a foot hold of long-term recovery working with an Addictions Specialist,  intense therapy, and 3 GA Meetings a week for a whole year. That was my first goal. Seriously work and give it a year to start.
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I also got a sponsor and finally started in-depth step work. I was at the point of being “Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired”….Really the biggest 1st Step we have to take in the start of our recovery is, TRULY admitting to ourselves and another that gambling and alcohol had me beat to HELL. I had lost everything, almost my marriage and husband and my LIFE. It was time to grown up, work hard in my recovery, PUT IT FIRST, and get my LIFE BACK! I think some of the thoughts and feelings I had for thinking what I was doing in my addiction was OK was I felt like a “Victim” of my past Childhood Trauma and Abuse.
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So I felt a sense of entitlement, which we all know is horse shit! I needed to finally feel and walk though all that passed PAIN, HURT, and FEAR of all of that.  PLUS, what I had done to others and myself within my addiction! In order to REAP the RECOVERY REWARDS later years later, to really get what seems so “ELUSIVE” in the start of recovery, and what all of us in Recovery want, just some “PEACE & SERENITY,”……you have to do the work in order to achieve it, not be “Given It.” You know me, I don’t sugar coat recovery to anyone. Working recovery is serious and I always “share” from personal experience. It will be the hardest work you ever do in life.
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So, the BAD news is, you have to work hard in early recovery and beyond. Make those GA, AA, NA or what ever meetings that help support your recovery through *Fellowship and Unity.* You need to start your 12-Step work as well, or what ever recovery program you choose to help you have a balanced recovery. Some important things is re-learn healthy “Mind & Body” life balance. Start a journal, read those materials that are “given” to you at meetings and in treatment. ”
“THEY REALLY DO HELP,” and help guide you by learning, being informed, and tells you about your addiction.
A support PHONE LIST is very important in early recovery. People you can call to help you through “Urges & Triggers.” And get back those healthy habits and hobbies you enjoyed in life, before all your time got sucked up by your addiction.
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The fabulous news of recovery? YOU GET YOUR LIFE BACK! Yes, it will take time, so learn patients. But it will come.
The more you work your recovery, the more of your life you get back in return. And a much BETTER LIFE at that!
Again, Recovery is a life long process, not an inconvenience. As before you know it, you’ll having years in recovery, not minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months. You’ll have YEARS of recovery time, and that’s when the “GOOD LIFE” really starts to happen!! It’s when all the hard work you put into your recovery gets good! You finally get to enjoy that early “elusive” in recovery, PEACE, CALM, and SERENITY. You can then start to “Pay It Forward” by being strong in your own recovery, to then help and support others as being of recovery service to others.
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So, Just Breath In Deep,……AWE, DO YOU FEEL IT YET? I SURE DO! It’s called “Success In Recovery”…
“AWE,…. THE GOOD LIFE”!
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May God Bless You All,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
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yeah write weekly writing challenge #157 weekend moonshine grid

 

*A Speechless & Generous Act of Kindness*

       ***AN UPDATE ON THIS GENEROUS ACT OF KINDNESS***

I’m a person who actually has a hard time with *Compliments* when they happen to be bestowed upon me. And, I’m not a person to brag either. But I want to SHARE a most “Generous act of kindness” I’m sure won’t happen to me again in this life time. I will leave the person *Anonymous* as the person would like to be.

When my book first came out, I was instructed by my Publisher to do a little Promo through our Local Newspaper to band local support for my book, “Addicted To Dimes”(Confessions of a liar & a Cheat) www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485/  So, on his advice, I did so. (See Below) I went over to our local newspaper, and gave the woman who does “Press” for our paper a copy of my book, and asked about doing a story on my book.  She joked and said, “Only if you sign the book for me,” so I did, and thought nothing more of it. That was late November around my birthday.

So, a few weeks before *Christmas* I get a call  from our hairdresser,…..I’ll call her SALLY,…lol…..I answer the phone, she says, “Hey, is your husband off today?? it was a Thursday morning, and yes he was off. So I told her, Yes……she says, “send him down for a Free Haircut cause I pulled his name out of the bowl for my 1 free haircut of the month. So, he went and got a haircut……..STAY WITH ME….

Not thinking anymore of it, Christmas Day has arrived, and, my hubby & I don’t do much on Christmas, we have no kids, nor family that live near by, so I make us a nice dinner for TWO. We also don’t have extra money to buy gifts as well, we just exchange a card to one another.

Now, I’ve been married to my husband for 24yrs, and this MAN doesn’t know the meaning of the word, “SURPRISE”……LOL…I’m his wife, so I’m allowed to say that!….LOL….but, you know what I mean, men may lack in one area but make it up in others.
So of course I was SURPRISED that when he gave me his card, he had a small box in his hand????  Now, my heart sunk a wee bit, because I know we can’t afford Jewelry!  So I take the box, there is a note that said, “A WIFE SHOULD HAVE A WEDDING RING”……

Now….if your a person who is in Recovery, then you’ll understand when I say, we will do ANYTHING to get our hands on Money for our addiction by any means, well, sadly that’s what I had done, I had pawned my wedding ring, when I was in the middle of my “Hell”…..I didn’t feel worthy of having one anyway because of the *Guilt & Shame* I felt around my addiction. ANYWHO…..back to my  Surprise! I opened the box…..and I was *SPEECHLESS*……It WAS A WEDDING RING!  I just couldn’t believe it!  This is how it came to be.

The lady at the newspaper was friends with our hairdresser, she read my book, then gave it to Sally!  Sally read the book and said, she was so moved & touched that she wanted me to have a New wedding ring, and that’s why she called my husband to come get his hair cut, so she could give him the ring to give to me on Christmas Day!!  I’m still in a Bit of Shock to this day. You know how we learn about not getting *Complacent*in our Recovery??…….

Well, I have a Beautiful Ring on my left ring finger that REMINDS ME every day Where I WAS, and where I am today in My Recovery!!  I want to THANK Sally again,  for the 100th time!  SHE WILL Never truly understand what that *ACT OF GENEROUS KINDNESS* means to me.

And, please, those in recovery…..*Live Life in the MOMENT(…..Stop looking over your shoulder, your PAST is just that, *PAST*……WHO you are Today in Recovery is what matters, not your past, NOR does it Define who you are in your Recovery!  *God Bless,  Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon*

**AN UPDATE…..I got my New RING TODAY!! Had to save a Wee bit of $$$ so as to add a little more Gold to have it sized properly, and it is done, just got it BACK TODAY!!…..and it is *BEAUTIFUL*…..I FEEL like a REAL Married Woman again!! My husband Tom asked me to MARRY HIM AGAIN, then slipped my Ring Back on my Finger!!

After all him and I have been through these past few years, all the trials & tribulation, HE STILL LOVES ME!! He never gave up on me, even in the Worst of my Addiction, and issues……I’M TRULY ONE BLESSED WOMAN!! He really is, *”MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR!!”*

PRAISE THE LORD FOR BLESSING ME WITH MY *TOM*……:-) 🙂 ***