“Problem Gambling Awareness Month” Special Guest Author: Alek M. Revitalizing Your Marriage After Addiction.

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Revitalizing your marriage or relationship is an important and sometimes scary process. When recovering from gambling addiction, the other partner feels that the gambling was the only thing the other person cared about, like if it had been a “love affair.” That is why this topic and article by Alek M. is so important in any recovery from any type of addiction….

Addiction can be one of the most trying experiences that an individual will face in their life, and recovery is a road that certainly isn’t easy. However, it is through the most challenging times in life that we are able to grow, as people, and emerge as a stronger version of yourself. This is what recovery is all about, as becoming a new and better you is a key part of lasting recovery that is sustainable.

However, during the course of addiction and recovery, the person undergoing these events is not the only person who will be tested. If an addict is married or in a long-term romantic relationship, then their partner is certainly going to go through a trying time, as well. However, having been through this journey together makes it all the more important to take crucial steps after recovery. Here are some tips on revitalizing your marriage after addiction…

Avoid starting new relationships in recovery


First of all, it’s important to note that is highly advisable to not start any new romantic relationships right after recovery, or in recovery, for that matter. A romantic relationship has the potential to distract you from what you should be focusing on in recovery, especially in the crucial early month, as staying sober is key. Relationships also have the potential to cause stress, which can be triggering for someone who just got through recovery. As a matter of fact, many aspects of an early relationship can have an unpredictable effect on someone who is probably still getting cravings. For this reason, it’s best just to avoid all of this, for the time being.
Here’s a good article if you’d like to read more about this situation.

Be honest, no matter what

When you are fresh out of recovery, your relationship needs to continue with a theme of honesty, or it simply won’t work. No matter what, it’s important for both you and your partner to be honest with each other about everything, especially what you are thinking about the situation. Make sure you both tell each other how you are feeling, every single day, and truly be honest about those feelings. If you are having cravings, or even if you suffer a relapse, these are among the most important times to be honest, as they can make the difference in your path to recovery.

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Clearly, communicate your needs

Remember that your partner will have their own specific needs during this time, and be considerate of those needs. However, it’s also important to be clear about what you need during this time of recovery, as your support system is a vital element to a lasting recovery. This means that each person in the relationship needs to have a clear line of communication with the other, so that they can say how they are truly feeling, without judgment.

Take this time to learn how to be better versions of yourself

At this time, remember that you are in a period of rebuilding who you are, and that you and your partner will be in a period of rebuilding your own relationship. While this will definitely be difficult, at times, it should be viewed as an opportunity to better yourselves and strengthen the bond between you two. Besides, if you can both support each other through the difficult time of recovery, then you will find that you have a stronger relationship on the other side.

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Find projects around the home to work on together

After getting out of recovery, you and your partner need to find new ways to bond so that you can make sure that you both still know each other, even after this life-changing experience. While getting out and going on adventures, like hiking, can be a great way to do this, it is also very important to try to find ways to enjoy being home with each other.


One particular way to do this is to find projects around your home that you can work on together. Look for something you both would love to see in your home.
Should you get new marble countertops? Should you build a treehouse? Just find something that you can both work together to improve your lives. Building new memories together, especially memories with tangible evidence all around you starts to replace negative experiences that you’ve both been through before.

Having a project is also a great tool to aid in recovery since it gives you a positive focus!

Honesty In Recovery Means Swallowing Your Pride. It’s About Accountability.

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Recovery Tip of The Week!

“When we learn to Swallow our Pride and put Ego Aside? It makes room in our Recovery, to be HONEST, BE RESPONSIBLE, and BECOME ACCOUNTABLE.”

It Just Might Help Make Your Recovery Journey Much Smoother and a Successful One!

ODAAT Recovery Friends!

Author & Recovery Columnist,
Catherine Townsend-Lyon

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Recovery Sharing and Engaging With Others About My Life & My Book. . .

Hello Recovery Friends, Supporters, and Welcome New Visitors,


“Always know your not less than, you worth more than”. . .

Living ones life in recovery means different things to different recovery people. Those of us who accept and surrender come from all walks of life, and we come from addictions from many different paths. I always say, “we all have a story to tell, and that story can be a powerful tool to help others in their recovery.”

As many of my friends who know me well, they know that besides advocating and sharing my personal recovery journey, I book promote for some fine authors to make a living. Many of my clients turn into fantastic friends. They support my life in recovery, and my current published book of my story of addiction and much more! They trust that I put the effort into promoting their books as I do into advocating for recovery. But I do always share who I am in recovery as I do as a published author. WHY?

Because I’m honest, accountable, and not feeling “less than” in life. Most new friends I meet as book promo clients buy and read my book, and learn exactly where I’ve been, and who I am today. What I had to work through and overcome. I never let my past define the person I am today. That is why I wanted to share this interaction that I had with a new author/book promoting client. It really shows how passionate I am about my life in recovery, and shows just how serious and honest people can be about their views of people in recovery. My sharing is meant to continue my fight of shattering STIGMA around those of us who choose to live in recovery from a very hush, hush addiction of “Compulsive Addicted Gambling, Mental Health, and Childhood Trauma & Abuse.” . . .


“No More Shame” . . .

My Interaction with Author, Jeanne Marie Peters by email:

Jeanne: Dear Catherine,
I’ve read one-half of your story and it has well-defined for me what the phrase “dysfunctional family” means. I’m so glad you have this wonderful husband and I hope the second half of your story will record the sunshine hours of your life. So far my summation is: All the while the drama of mortal existence takes front stage, but in the quiet background pure affection is winning its way, until the whole lump of human life is leavened, and the sweet odor of gentleness perfumes the air.

Like you, my younger years did not contain ‘many acknowledgements of worth,’ and I treasure the few such as hearing my Aunt Sarah say, “Isn’t Jeanne a good little girl?” and her brother, my grandfather, responding, “Yes, she’s as good as gold.”  And one of the five I ever heard from my dear mother, “You are always polite to every one; politeness is not just a social thing; it’s comes from the very fiber of your being.” But at the same time you having rage inside.”  I mention these, because it reminds me of the power of a few kind words, as I sort through your own torturous journey to your divine precious being.

Relatives who are of the Mormon faith have written my grandfather, Fred Mansfield Law, out of family history because he gambled. We’re all working something out in our lives. “Charity covereth a multitude of sins,” says the Bible. Kindly allow me to share one of grandfather’s poems. . .

Easy Valley
There’s a little spot out West
Where you can be at rest,
It’s the place that I like best: Easy Valley

Where there’s music in the air
And the birds recite a prayer,
For all that’s lovely there: in Easy Valley

It has gold along its streams
And miners in their dreams,
Know how long it seems: they’ll tarry.

Many years I’ve been away,
Now I’m going back to stay.
I’ll soon be on my way: to Easy Valley

Gee, won’t it seem to grand
Just to take my sweetheart’s hand,
The one who understands: in Easy Valley

And by a little cottage gate,
There my darling waits,
Near the River Applegate: in Easy Valley

And by a little cottage gate,
There my darling waits,
Near the River Applegate: in Easy Valley

Where there’s music in the air
And the birds recite a prayer,
For all that’s lovely there: in Easy Valley

Many years I’ve been away,
Now I’m going back to stay.
I’ll soon be on my way: to Easy Valley
God Bless,
Jeanne

Now this poem Jeanne shared with me touched my heart. Even though she was only half through my book, she understood my style of writing, and also understood the way I wrote and shared my experiences to not sound to readers like, denial, excuses, or as a victim. It is very difficult to do when writing about addiction and recovery. Especially to those readers who may not have been touched by addiction. So here is what I replied and shared back to Jeanne of my feelings. . . .

Catherine:
I’m glad you got my book ok. This poem is beautiful, and I thank you for sharing it with me. I’m also going to share it in a new recovery blog post this week too! You are becoming more like a wonderful 2nd mama to me with your wonderful recovery encouragement and support, as I didn’t get to much of that from my mom until later in life, before her passing in 2003.

I really appreciate that about you. You have such an open heart and spirit about you. It’s like a magnet. . .;-).  And what you’re doing with and for Catherine is a blessing. (Her next book co-authored with her friend). My next book is a little follow-up of where Tom, my hubby, and I are now, what I’ve been up to since my book published, and the rest is about how others can reach that all elusive first year in recovery. When I’m not promoting for clients, I’m keeping my recovery a main priority now that I just celebrated my 8th year in recover. I’m keeping to what God has given me, a life long purpose to help others in recovery from the destructive addiction of Compulsive Addicted Gambling.

And to continue my advocacy of raising awareness, help educate and inform the public of the dangers of now expansions of Indian Casinos and State Lotteries. This expansion is hurting those of us trying to stay in recovery when gambling is so accessible all around us. I harbor NO ill will towards those who can gamble for the fun and entertainment purpose, nor do I think gambling should be banned. I just want the public to know there are thousands of us out here who can not. And with expansion comes some negative impacts on our local communities. That’s it in a nutshell.

So sharing my story through my book was the only way I knew I could achieve this God Given Purpose.  And I believe that others, if given the chance can also turn their lives around and away from addictions with the right help and support. When we let our Higher Creator inside our Heart, we in Recovery are Unstoppable!

Many Blessings Your Way,
Catherine. . .

So that was my reply to Jeanne. I feel it’s important to share our true feelings. WHY?
Because within our addictions we become selfish, and so numb from the disease that we lose that ability to feel and think properly. No, I’m not blaming the addiction or disease for the poor choices I had made, I’m saying that we are in no healthy, or clear minded position to make those healthy choices in life when we have a head full of diseased thinking, bad habits and behaviors we have picked up within addiction. Addiction invades every part of you. As we know many of our thoughts and our choices come from feelings to begin with, so if we don’t feel any of the pain or devastation ourselves, and to those around us, we are barely of sound mind to make healthy life choices.

But, as I told Jeanne in my reply, if we fight like hell to reclaim our lives from addiction, and with the right help and support, we can recover and reclaim our lives back from any addiction!

Many Blessings and Happiness Recovery Friends!
Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Author & Recovery Advocate