Hello, Friends, Readers, Denver Fans, and New Visitors,
Well, we have gotten Vance over his writer’s block… And is why I have not posted in awhile. Today I wanted to share a little about Vance, the man today. WE also wanted to share some of the messages he receives on Facebook almost every day of those he has helped from addiction, looking for help, or maybe a parent whose child is an addict and is just looking for some support or guidance on how to help their loved one. Sharing these are powerful and helps others have a little more understanding of HOW Addictions are killing our loved ones and ravaging our communities.
And with all the coaching, speaking around the country, and events Vance attends, he is seeing this First Hand. It is some of why he does what he is doing. GOD truly had a calling, a faith-driven purpose for his life years ago when he was laying in a hospital bed in a coma for 26 days in the Rock Bottom of his own addiction.
Having Triumphed in his own recovery is how he can now help so many from this EPIDEMIC. Here now is some of those messages he receives.
We wanted to share this from Vance’s inbox message on Facebook as he received this from a young lady who calls herself Anonymous. HE, of course, knows who she is so we won’t be sharing her name, but her message is POWERFUL…
The Message From Anonymous:
Three weeks ago, after 2 amazing years of sobriety, I was found barely alive in my car. I’ve been thinking about writing this every day since then for you to share Mr. Johnson. My name is anonymous.
I must remain anonymous to preserve my family’s privacy. What you think of me, is not their fault. I’m 27 years old. The mother of 3 young boys. The fiancé of a hard-working, loving man. The daughter of 2 wonderful, supportive parents. The granddaughter of 2 amazing grandparents who I look up to every day. My days are built around my children. I wake up before them, get clothes ready, make their breakfast, clothe them, send them off to school and preschool programs. I kiss their boo-boos and tuck them in every night with a hug and kiss. We sit on the floor and play, cuddle and watch movies, make crazy art projects. I have wonderful friends. We go to playgrounds and out for ice cream.
My fiancé and I make a point to love each other every day. I love spending time with my family and hosting holidays at our home. I anticipate the change of the seasons and find so much joy in the change they bring. I love to write and to get lost in my books. I am so many things, understand. I am also a heroin addict.
Behind every move, I make there is an uneasiness within my family. I’ve spent years clean to fall back at the feet of my demons. Gained back years of trust to lose it all in one day. I fight every day to be a better person. To be honest with every word that I speak, to walk past your purse without even thinking about what’s in there. I know where and how to get high, but I don’t. I chose to live every day, but that wasn’t always the case. I’ve wrecked cars, stole, created my own list of various criminal charges.
I’ve disappointed everyone in my family. My name is anonymous…to protect myself from what you might think of me if you knew. I sit next to you at public functions. Volunteer next to you. My well-behaved, well-mannered children play next to yours. I stand in front of you at the grocery store. I hold the door for you with a smile. If I told you I was a heroin addict, you probably wouldn’t believe me. But there are millions of people out there who look just like me, sitting next to you. Think about this the next time you are feeling hateful towards addicts because we’re people who have just as much to offer. Narcan saved my life and allowed me to have another chance to do things right.
My name is anonymous because I’m still waiting for the world to open their hearts and stop looking down on me.
One More Share:
VANCE: Last night I had a call that has emotionally put me behind bars. Once again I know first hand how the people I’m called to help feel when making decisions regarding issues that keep the family in bondage to addiction, every day. This hits home and cuts to the heart.
There is on occasion when moms and dad’s ask me what options they have when their adult children face jail or even death because of the poor decisions they’re making. Whether he/she is using drugs, selling, lying, stealing, cheating or hanging around a crowd that will eventually take them down. There is TUFF love… I generally ask moms and dads to choose the middle of the road when it comes to free themselves from their adult child’s poor choices. One of many is a home, but no money, and when they need help show them the way with conditions.
Not protecting them from their choices I think is good practice, because they have been protected for a long long time, you may still be currently supporting them. Reassuring yourself that this lifestyle is their choice, also helps you feel less guilty about cutting down or cutting off financial support. We should replace nagging and yelling with clear communication.
Be confident about your boundaries and be able to say “no” when you’re feeling manipulated. Be done with enabling but still ready to help.
Our adult children are struggling with life, unable to cope with everyday challenges. Many return home from rehab lost and confused in some cases. Can’t hang out with old friends, relationships or even work because they don’t know who they are anymore, not recognizing that they haven’t developed the necessary emotional tools to succeed as an adult in the world of work and relationships. What can you do as a parent?
Many facilities that offer treatment don’t care what happens to them when they leave. No exit plan or resources for ongoing treatment. So do your homework guys. Recently I’ve seen young men that are in transition/halfway homes after being released from jail with no resources for staying clean or accountable, outside of “if you screw up, back to jail or prison”.
YES, this one is personal, so loving all of you who face this with me today. I’m looking in the mirror tonight myself, asking “did I do enough”!
And there is sobriety in that!
***Yes, Vance is more than just a man in Recovery***
If you or a loved one needs help from addiction? Please visit his website Vance Inspires … “As a certified sober coach, escort, and intervention I am able to offer multiple options getting your love-one the care they need”…Vance