“Let’s Give The 12-Steps It’s Do” My Guest Article Pick of The Weekend From “The Fix”…By Adam S.

“Let’s Give The 12-Steps It’s Do” My Guest Article Pick of The Weekend From “The Fix”…By Adam S.

There seems to be a new kind of revolution going on around “The 12-Step” model of gaining sobriety these days. I have been seeing more and more people move “away” from the 12-steps as a choice for their main source of becoming and maintaining sobriety. Why is this happening? What I have read on the web have been reasons like some not comfortable that our courts are mandating criminals who have drug and alcohol problems so the courts are demanding they attend AA, Na, GA, etc. Women have spoken out about men trolling them as some of them are court-mandated as sex abusers and pedophiles. Good point. There is even an award-winning film out about it by Monica Richardson titled; “The 13th Step”…

Now many know I am not a huge fan of the 12-step model as the main choice to recover even as we now have many 12-step programs to help with alcohol, drugs, porn, eating, and even gambling addictions. This of course was and IS from my own experience and knew JUST A/The 12-step program was NOT going to be my only source of recovering from my addictions.

WHY? Because my gambling addiction and alcohol abuse were so bad that I needed an actual reprieve as I was in a crisis from a failed suicide attempt and needed to be away from access to gain this. See, many don’t understand that decades ago when ‎Bill W. and Dr. Bob · ‎Lois W. wrote the Big Book, it was not intended to “treat” alcohol addiction. It was a way for Bill W. explain and sell the Traditions to the fellowship. Bill knew no one would buy a book about Traditions, so he included the essays on the steps. And to work on how to best approach alcoholics and began trying to help men recover from alcoholism.

For me, I learned early it would be a more of support, fellowship, and unity. Not for “treatment.” So, here is an article I read that gives The 12-Step Model it’s “do.”

Image result for Copy free images of the serenity prayer

12-Step Privilege: Unpacking the Recovery Knapsack. Does Privilege Happen Of Treatment Options?

 

“The 12-step community enjoys massive privilege in our systems of treatment and recovery support and has gone unchallenged for the better part of a century.”

We have all heard it said that “the disease does not discriminate.” People of all ages, races, genders, and cultures are affected by substance use disorder. However, some people have a much easier time navigating our systems and finding the resources and support they need to sustain long-term recovery. Usually, these advantages can be attributed to privilege. People with financial or healthcare privilege have easier access to higher quality treatment. Those of us with white privilege are less likely to be incarcerated. People with gender privilege don’t have to worry about residential accommodations getting in the way of treatment.

Many of us in the recovery community have committed ourselves to combating privilege and trying to make treatment and recovery more accessible to everyone. Most of us have given lip service to the idea that there are many pathways in recovery. However, one of the biggest systems of privilege is right under our noses every day. The 12-step community enjoys massive privilege in our systems of treatment and recovery support and has gone unchallenged for the better part of a century. Many of the recovery community’s social justice champions live every day of their recovery without recognizing their own privilege.

As you read the list below, think of the advantages of belonging to a 12-step fellowship. Would you have the same advantages had you chosen another pathway to recovery? Do you feel that you deserve them more than other people because 12-step recovery is superior? If you are a member of a 12-step group and you question, justify or deny this privilege, perhaps this will help.

Peggy McIntosh’s seminal workUnpacking the Invisible Knapsack, has helped a generation of white people understand and begin to address their privilege. I have altered a few of McIntosh’s elements of privilege for the 12-step community and provided examples for some.

    1. I can, if I wish, arrange to be in the company of people in 12-step programs most of the time.
      Anywhere you look for people in recovery, you will find 12-step members. This is because they are churned out by the thousands by rehabs that favor 12-step facilitation. (see below)
    2. When I look for a recovery meeting in my community, I can be sure to find a 12-step meeting.
      There are 12-step meetings every day, from early in the morning to late at night. Other programs are not as widely available to their participants. As a result, people who prefer other methods often have to attend 12-step meetings.
    3. If I talk to a non-recovering person about my 12-step program, they will have heard of it and have some idea of how it works.
      People on the outside of the recovery community are familiar with the 12-step process, especially the part about making amends. This makes people think that everyone in recovery owes something back to society or family members or friends, whether they do or not.
    4. When I tell people I’m in recovery, they assume correctly that I’m in a 12-step program.
      Most people, when they think of recovery, think of people sitting in a circle of chairs in a church basement, listening to someone tell their “story.” People in 12-step recovery will usually ask a “test” question to see if you are in a fellowship (“Are you a friend of Bill?” “What’s your home group?”); if you don’t answer correctly, you may get a funny look or condescending reaction.
    5. I can assume that people in positions of authority who are in recovery are in 12-step programs.
      Have you ever met a cop, a judge, or other person in authority who was in recovery? There’s an excellent chance that they were 12-step members.
    6. I can talk to other recovering/recovered people and they will not doubt the quality or stability of my recovery based on the way I achieved it.
      The reverse of this–expressing doubt about someone’s recovery based on the fact they achieved it in a different way than you– is a form of gaslighting, and it happens to people who don’t subscribe to 12-step programs. The dominant paradigm is that people in recovery have to have a “program” in order to have a good recovery.
    7. If I want to be of service to others in recovery, I have many opportunities to do so through 12-step programs.
      It’s one of the most admirable aspects of the 12-step community; however, opportunities to volunteer outside of the 12-step fellowship are few and far between. This is also a double-edged sword and source of stigma, as people in recovery are expected to be “in service” to atone for their perceived shameful behavior.
    8. If I ask to participate in any community discussion about substance use issues, I can be assured of a seat at the table.
      Bereft of any professional qualifications, a person who holds themselves out as active in the local 12-step community is automatically considered an expert on substance use disorder and recovery.
    9. I can be pretty sure of getting a job in the treatment field with other people who are in 12-step recovery.
      Dog whistles happen in job interviews too; a person from a 12-step fellowship is undoubtedly well-connected to others in recovery who staff the local treatment center. In addition, 12-step members rarely have to go against their own personal beliefs in the workplace, since 12-step philosophy dominates the treatment system.
    10. 12-step groups are commonly given free or heavily discounted rates on rentals of space and other materials in order to function.
      Most churches and other community spaces rent space to 12-step groups at unheard-of rates that another organization would be hard-pressed to obtain.
    11. I can shop for recovery literature, materials, accessories, or paraphernalia and be sure that 12-step programs will be represented.
      Have you ever shopped at a store that sells recovery paraphernalia? Try to find a recovery t-shirt, keychain or medallion that doesn’t have 12-step slogans or imagery on it. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
    12. I can view movies and TV shows about recovery and be sure that 12-step programs will be represented.
      12-step fellowships and their members are featured in nearly every book, film, or other media production depicting people with substance use disorder. This adds to the common public perception that everyone in recovery is in a 12-step fellowship (see #3 and #4). Dog whistles to 12-step members are also ubiquitous. The TV show My Name is Earl was one huge dog whistle.
    13. When nationally recognized figures in the recovery community speak publicly, I can be sure that they will use 12-step recovery language with which I can identify.
      If you attend any kind of rally or public event dealing with recovery, even if speakers are careful about their own anonymity, 12-step language, slogans and concepts will undoubtedly be part of the presentation.
    14. When I learn about the history of the recovery movement, I am told that people from 12-step programs made it what it is.
      Most of the early pioneers of recovery were 12-step members. These people are to be admired and respected; however, this does bestow privilege on their descendants in recovery.
    15. 12-step recovery contains concepts and language from a privileged spiritual pathway.
      The basic texts of 12-step programs are replete with language from the most dominant, privileged spiritual pathway in the country. Therefore, people who were already spiritually and culturally privileged have that privilege reinforced when they enter a 12-step program. Those from other faiths, or from no faith, are forced to adjust their thinking to the language used; this is the most frequent reason people give for seeking alternatives to 12-step programs.
    16. If I present myself for substance use treatment, I can be sure that the treatment facility I attend will embrace and endorse 12-step recovery.
      People from 12-step programs who come to treatment are familiar with the content of the clinical programming at most rehabs. Those who come to treatment from other pathways are likely to be told that they were “doing it wrong.”
    17. If I should need recovery housing, I can easily find a place that accepts 12-step membership as valid for the requirements of the residence.
      The vast majority of recovery houses require daily 12-step meetings, as well as sponsorship and attendance at in-house meetings. Those from other groups are either not admitted to the house or forced to adapt.
    18. I can travel to another country and be sure of finding a 12-step meeting.
      It’s a strength, no doubt; there are 12-step meetings in nearly every civilized country.
    19. I can openly criticize other methods of recovery and others will support me.
      Spend a little time on social media, and you will see this in action. Medication-assisted recovery and other “alternative” pathways are regularly disparaged, and there is nearly unlimited support from fellow 12-step members.

    20. I can dismiss criticisms of 12-step programs and others will support me.
      Sure, 12-step recovery gets criticized also; but again, there are thousands of people who will rush to its defense.

Just as in other privileged communities, there are members of the 12-step community who will call this idea divisive and make impassioned calls for unity to avoid the discomfort of acknowledging their privilege. This is a normal defensive reaction; however, it is important to move past it and get to the real work.

Image result for copy free images quotes promoting equity in recovery communities pathways to recover

The whole point of understanding and acknowledging one’s privilege is not to feel guilty or defensive; but rather, to promote equity in the recovery community so that more people can find recovery through diverse pathways. Defensive reactions take many forms; here are a few to avoid:

      1. “If you want more alternatives to 12-step recovery, why don’t you start your own fellowship?”
        Starting meetings is a good thing, but other pathways in recovery cannot be expected to match the strength and advantage of the 12-step fellowship overnight.
      2. “Why do you have to attack 12-step recovery in order to promote equity?”
        Pointing out privilege is not putting anyone down or attacking 12-step recovery. It is simply asking for those with power to help those without. It is often said that “Equality feels like oppression to the privileged.”
      3. “The recovery community needs to come together. Talking about privilege is divisive.”
        The whole point is that we are already divided along lines of privilege. One of the characteristics of privilege is that it’s nearly invisible to those who benefit from it. Only the privileged can afford to put unity ahead of equity.

So, now that you have recognized your privilege, how can you take responsibility for it? Again, I have compiled some commonly accepted ideas from a number of sources and modified them slightly to fit the context.

      1. Educate yourself. Learn as much as you can about other recovery methods and groups, and don’t automatically expect people from those pathways to do the work of educating you.
      2. Really get to know people from other recovery pathways. Know them as people, not just avatars for their recovery method.
      3. Listen to people and advocates from multiple other recovery pathways when they speak. Listen without responding.
      4. Empathize with people from oppressed pathways. This does not mean sympathize. Empathy means being with a person and understanding and sharing their feelings and concerns.
      5. Amplify. After listening and feeling, use your privilege and access to amplify voices of those in oppressed recovery groups.

        Image result for copy free images quotes don't oppress others in recovery communities

      6. Challenge others in your privileged group who perpetuate stigma and stereotypes about other methods of finding recovery. Let them know that this is not OK.
      7. Work to offset, counteract, and neutralize your privilege and the systemic inequity. Use your privilege to open doors, forge new paths, and lift up members of the oppressed recovery pathways.

We in the recovery community are some of the most passionate advocates there are. In our relatively short history, we have removed many obstacles to treatment and recovery.

It is important that we do not become the obstacle… Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Author, and LOUD Advocate 🙂

 

 

 

Advertisements

“Fear Traps Me Into Being WHO I Am Not Many Times”…Guest Article by “World Of Psychology” Shares It Well.

“Fear Traps Me Into Being WHO I Am Not Many Times”…Guest Article by “World Of Psychology” Shares It Well.

I told myself at midnight new years’ eve, I was going to write, share, and be more open and transparent about my mental health issues this year. So when I came upon this article and gave it a read, I knew I had to share it today as many of us who maintain recovery from addictions are dually diagnosed with mental health challenges like myself. And those who don’t understand what it is like to battle agoraphobia along with depression and a few other disorders I have been working through, many seem to cling to “The Stigma” around all of the ABOVE.

Now, yes, I do understand that those who have not been touched by mental or emotional problems or disorders or know or have a family or friend who does, not all people are sorry to ‘ignorant’ about these topics. However, there some who don’t think mental health problems, like Tom Cruise, even exist. HA!

I’m here to say they do and about 42.5 million American adults (or 18.2 percent of the total adult population in the United States) suffers from some mental illness, enduring conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, and more.

That is 1 in every 5 people suffer in just the United States alone. So, sorry Tom Cruise and L. Ron Hubbard of Scientology, YOUR WRONG. Here is an article that helps us have insights on how paralyzing “FEAR” can make us feel TRAPPED…By 

imageedit_1_9536218710

How Fear Traps You into Being Someone You Are Not…

“The fear response is triggered when facing danger.”

The “danger” could be not measuring up to a desired or imposed standard, not getting done what you set out to do, not fulfilling expectations (your own or someone else’s), being seen as less than perfect or failing at something. There is also the “danger” of not fitting in and being noticeably different from the norm. All these fears and anxieties stem from questioning your ability to cope with life’s challenges and people’s responses to your actions.

External messages from the media and authorities are also powerful triggers of anxiety and fear. Believing the world to be a dangerous place creates a pervading sense of powerlessness that undermines your personal power and inner strength in many different ways. 

  • Fear manipulates you into forgetting how strong and competent you really are.

  • Fear negates your resilience. Feelings of helplessness trick you into believing that you do not have what it takes to tolerate hardship and bounce back from adversity.

  • Fear narrows your focus to mainly notice problems, damage, hurt or harm.

  • Fear impairs realistic thinking so the scale and likelihood of potential danger are often overestimated. Unless you live in a war zone, a dangerous neighborhood, an abusive relationship or have just experienced a significant natural disaster, most commonly assumed dangers are less prevalent or disastrous than imagined.

  • Avoidance is one of the responses to fear. Self-imposed restrictions on where you go or what you do limit your options and shrink your world.

  • Fear can sabotage creative self-expression. Instead of aiming for your aspirations and dreams you may censor yourself and remain within the safety of your comfort zone.

  • Fear prevents you from living in the here and now. Worrying what might happen and anticipating dangers and calamities in the future removes your attention from the present, the only place where you can function to the best of your ability. Dwelling on past events instead of focusing on the present also clouds your perception to the realities and opportunities of the now.

  • Survival emotions such as anger (fight); worry, panic and anxiety (flight); depression and hopelessness (freeze) limit your emotional expression and narrow your emotional range. Negative feelings drag you down and deplete vital life force while positive emotions such as trust in yourself, courage and hope strengthen and nurture you.

  • Fear cuts you off from the flow of life and universal benevolence you could tap into.

  • Destabilized by fear you lose your firm grounding in your own power. This diminishes your ability to recognize potential agendas by external sources of fear. As a consequence, you become an easier target for manipulation and abuse.

Fear is the result of a physical mechanism involving the adrenals and various other body systems. In cases of real and acute danger, this is useful as it alerts you to the need for action.

However, the same kind of responses are also triggered by imagined danger. With the lines between real and imagined danger often blurred in modern life, fear in all its forms can become chronic. Like with ‘Agoraphobia’ or other panic type disorders.

“Tricking you into believing that you are weak and without inner resources or that a catastrophe is imminent, fear and its allies are some of the most damaging emotions to allow into your life. You have a choice what you do with your fear: stay in its thrall or make the decision not to be pulled into it and question it is associated — and usually automatic — thoughts.”

 
imageedit_3_9677111059

There are many different ways to defuse fears. All of them involve feeling it without trying to suppress the feeling or run away from it. Like other emotions, fear follows a bell curve where it rises, peaks and eventually subsides if you stay with it as a witness rather than disappearing into it. When you have weathered the emotional storm and feel calmer, take a good look at your thoughts and the reality of the situation.

Examine your triggers and the beliefs associated with them. What is their origin, do they reflect the truth? What is your fear about? How you see yourself, how other people might think of you, what you are told about the world? What keeps you in a state of fear?

Depending on your situation, devise your own path to freedom. You may decide on “gradual exposure”, i.e. approaching a feared situation not at once but in several small increments over a number of days or weeks.

You could also draw a “fear ladder” with your “little” fears at the bottom rungs and the “big” ones on top. Begin addressing the less difficult ones and gradually work your way up. It will show you that you do not have to give in to fear and let it define your life and how you see yourself.

Enlist help and support if you need it, but ultimately no one can do this work for you. Remember, you are much stronger and more resilient than fear will allow you to know.

#####

About Christiana Star

Christiana is a counseling psychologist and writer with a strong focus on self-help, personal growth, and empowerment. Combining professional experience with a spiritual outlook on life, her work offers new perspectives, insights, practical tips and easy strategies that can be applied straightaway. When she is not writing, Christiana can be found in nature: tending her fruit and vegetable garden with various degrees of success or exploring Sydney’s beautiful Northern Beaches with her very quirky little dog.

Download the free ebook “10 Keys for Moving Forward when Life Has Changed”, receive the monthly newsletter or access her weekly blog at www.christianastar.com.


#####

This part of her article HIT ME, “Fear can sabotage creative self-expression. Instead of aiming for your aspirations and dreams you may censor yourself and remain within the safety of your comfort zone.”

That is me! I feel safe in my places within my “Comfort Zone.” It truly is debilitating and then I get depressed as it feels like looking out a window as LIFE is passing by WITHOUT ME In It…

So, what role does fear play in your life? What have you found useful in overcoming fears? If you are struggling, what is your difficulty?  Please share your feelings and comments with me.  Maybe together we can help one another…


Author and Advocate, Catherine Townsend-Lyon 

CAN YOU KEEP YOUR SOBRIETY SAFE ON NEW YEAR’S EVE? YES! Holiday Spotlight on The Lakehouse Recovery Center.

CAN YOU KEEP YOUR SOBRIETY SAFE ON NEW YEAR’S EVE? YES! Holiday Spotlight on The Lakehouse Recovery Center.

YUP! New Year’s Eve is almost here!
Here is how to keep
your Sobriety in TACT!

By The Lakehouse Staff

New Year’s Eve is a big deal for a lot of people with addiction issues. It’s akin to a free-for-all booze fest, and everyone is invited. It’s also one of those holidays that we tend to future trip about, meaning, we worry how we will ever do an NYE event sober. Once you make it through your first, take notice of the bonus points sobriety offers for holidays like this. You will actually remember everything that happened, you won’t wake up and have no idea where you are, you won’t spend New Year’s Day trying to get out of jail, and you won’t be hungover like everyone else. Remember, it gets easier as you go, but you have to keep going. Here are a few tips to stay on your roll:

  1. Stand Your Ground – You may be surrounded by drinkers, so stick to your guns and turn down any offers of alcoholic beverages. If you don’t have sobriety, you have nothing, and this doesn’t need to be explained to anyone. “No” is a complete sentence. Don’t let anyone pressure you to drink; people that do, often have a problem themselves.
  2. Exit Stage Left – Have a plan in place so you can leave whenever you want to. If you drive, drive yourself. You can even let the ones you care about know beforehand that you may dip out early. What others think of you is none of your business, but keeping yourself safe, is.
  3. BYOD – Carry your own n/a drink. This will prevent others from trying to give you beverages, and it could also make the situation feel less awkward.
  4. Skip Alcohol-Fueled Parties and Do Something Different – Go out to dinner with friends who don’t want to drink, play board or hit a movie…whatever it is, these are the things we didn’t get to enjoy when we were using or drinking, and now you can.
  5. Alcathons – These are round-the-clock AA meetings that are often a party in and of themselves. The holidays can be tough on addicts and alcoholics, and spending them together is a prime example of strength in numbers.

    ####

    1    img_6734   lrc_pillows

 


Welcome to The Lakehouse Recovery Center – “Southern California’s Premier Residential Treatment Center for Men & Women.” The images below are simply a brief depiction of us and our beautiful facility. We aspire to optimally merge the benefits of quality care with comforts, amenities, and surroundings most conducive for recovery. While the images below may only present a brief glimpse into our wonderful program, just know our staff is here for you at any time should questions arise… (877) 762-3707

cropped-thelakehouse-logo-2017.png

If you are struggling with addiction, the holidays are a great time to get sober. There isn’t a better gift you could give yourself and your family, than recovery. Call The Lakehouse Recovery Center, we are available 24/7, toll-free at (877) 762-3707. Imagine what the holidays would look like a year from now in recovery. You can do this, your life can get better, and you can recover. Call today.

New Years Eve Advice To Keep Your Sobriety In Tact! Holiday Guest Article By Sober Recovery. Com and By Toshia Humphries…

New Years Eve Advice To Keep Your Sobriety In Tact! Holiday Guest Article By Sober Recovery. Com and By Toshia Humphries…

A Recovery Checklist For Ringing in the New Year. By Toshia Humphries

Active addiction can be a frightening reality for everyone, including family, friends, significant others and, of course, the addicted individual. Unfortunately, simply checking into a treatment facility and getting sober doesn’t necessarily mean you’re safe from the active components of the disease for good.

The scary truth is that relapse is always a possibility. For this reason, it is necessary to know what to do if this is your experience. After all, with active addiction, even one relapse can lead to a deadly occurrence. 

That is why while the clock is winding down to the end of another year, it may be a good time to create a recovery checklist in order to prepare for the year ahead.

Here is a list of things you can do in order to keep yourself on track.

1. Review your recovery program.

Make a list of all the steps you are taking in your personal recovery program. In other words, notate any meetings you attend, therapists you see, life/recovery coaches you work with, your spiritual processes, etc. This will give you a good idea of exactly what is or is not needed in addition to what steps you’re currently taking.

Though relapse doesn’t always mean you are not getting the help you need or doing adequate work, it is certainly a red flag to consider the possibility that something is missing from your recovery program.

2. Determine what’s missing.

Once you have completed the review of your individual recovery program, it’s time to determine what’s missing. If you don’t know exactly what might be missing from your recovery program, simply ask yourself if you are addressing all the issues on a holistic basis. In other words, are you dealing with the physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual components of the disease? And are you addressing yourself on the same basis?

Many times, recovering individuals do not adequately benefit from formal treatment and Twelve-Step or other recovery meetings alone. These things typically only serve to address acute physical and psychological symptoms of the disease. So, if this is all you currently do, it may be necessary to consider adding in other, more personal steps including counseling, life/recovery coaching, spiritual components, etc.

3. Make sure your recovery is holistic.

Because addiction is a holistic disease—affecting the body, mind, and spirit—your recovery program should be holistic as well. Take steps to address the emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual effects of the disease. Leaving any part of you unattended will make you more vulnerable to relapse.

cropped-enjoy-holidays-recovery1.jpg

4. Deal with the root cause.

Though addiction is a disease, it is actually an acute symptom of a much bigger issue. Often times, the root cause is either a physical or psychological issue in which someone is self-medicating a disorder, or an emotional or spiritual issue such as trauma, abuse, or abandonment.

Of course, neither scenario is comfortable to face. In fact, the idea of revisiting trauma or being diagnosed with and properly treated for a disorder can insight fear in many. However, ignoring these issues means you’re only setting yourself up for repeated relapse.

As the year comes to a close, make it a priority to assess your recovery, patch up any holes in your recovery plan, and strengthen yourself in your journey. Look within yourself and ensure the root causes that brought you to addiction are being dealt with and that you’ve efficiently covered all your bases. This is how you set yourself up for another sober year ahead.

#####


For more articles, help, and resources, please visit Sober Recovery Today!

 

Veterans, A Holiday Spotlight on My Guest “Make The Connection” – Gambling Addiction Services and Much More For our Vets.

Veterans, A Holiday Spotlight on My Guest “Make The Connection” – Gambling Addiction Services and Much More For our Vets.

Gambling addiction has no boundaries on who it will touch. It can be men, women, teens, seniors, and even our veterans that have or are serving in the military. I was doing some research for an article I was writing for a paper and came across my guest who I wanted to spotlight as part of my Holiday Blogging series as we are seeing our veterans not just battling homelessness or drug and alcohol problems, but now gambling addiction.

“In between deployments my buddies and I would hit the casino. But we ended up losing our paychecks and so I had to start coming up with creative excuses why I didn’t have any money for my family.”


So if you are a veteran of any military branch of service? Know there is Help, Hope, and now Treatment Options for all types of addictions including gambling and find it here at “Making The Connection . Net”  Here is more of what they do and about addicted gambling among our veterans.

 

American Flag, Textured, Rough, Harsh

“MakeTheConnection.net is an online resource designed to connect Veterans, their family members and friends, and other supporters with information, resources, and solutions to issues affecting their lives.”

There are millions of Veterans and family members who have reached out for support during tough times. Their lives got better. Yours can too. Over 400 Veterans and family members from across the country have shared their stories of strength and recovery. On MakeTheConnection.net, it takes only seconds to find a story that is just for you. Try It: Find the Story for You  In addition to powerful stories, MakeTheConnection.net provides information about life experiences you can relate to. You also can explore information about signs, symptoms, and conditions that are related to mental health and well-being.

MakeTheConnection.net also will help you…

Locate Nearby Resources.

 

When it’s time to reach out, MakeTheConnection.net’s resource locator can help you find resources, programs, and facilities in your area, no matter where you are.

They have many different resources listed as well Crisis Lines and more with now 2,918,331 ONLINE Supporters waiting to help VETS.

 

“Make The Connection has resources available for Veterans having a problem with gambling addiction.”

Gambling is a problem when it negatively affects your finances, job, relationships with family or friends, or your health. Are you sometimes unable to pay the bills because you’ve spent your money on lottery or scratch tickets; card, slot, or dice games; sports betting; horse or dog races; or Internet gambling? When you lose money gambling, do you think that you need to bet more to win it all back? Have you tried to hide your gambling from family or friends? Is gambling the only thing you like doing, or do you spend most of your time thinking about ways to gamble?  A “yes” answer to any of these questions may be a sign of a gambling addiction.

Gambling is betting something of value on the outcome of an event — like a football or baseball game, a card game, or a race — when the likelihood of winning or losing is uncertain. Although many people gamble occasionally, some people gamble even when it causes problems for themselves or others. They may want, need, or have tried to stop gambling but feel like they can’t. They may start gambling more often or taking bigger and bigger betting risks. These are some of the warning signs of a gambling addiction.

cropped-imageedit_1_2873321820.jpg
For some Veterans, gambling starts as entertainment, but then can become a major way to relieve stress or boredom or to feel better when going through a tough time. Some Veterans may gamble for its sense of risk and thrill. Gambling can be a distraction, or perhaps a way to avoid coping with some of the difficulties that may arise when transitioning from military to civilian life. One of the symptoms of a serious gambling addiction is continuing to gamble even when you no longer find it enjoyable.

When gambling becomes a habit, it can cause problems with your job, relationships, and your mental or physical health. People who gamble compulsively may have financial issues, go into debt, or keep turning to others for gifts or loans. They may even steal from family, friends, or even their employers so they can keep gambling. The need to gamble, the problems it causes, and the stress of not being able to stop can be related to guiltdepressionanxiety disordersalcohol or drug problemsbipolar, even OCD and PTSD and health other issues.

If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?

  • Acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life.
  • Recognize that it is possible to make a change.
  • Make a list of reasons not to gamble that you can refer to when you feel the urge to gamble.
  • Write down a list of things — including people and places — that make you want to gamble, along with ways that you can avoid them.
  • Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to help you manage stress and to manage feelings if you feel the strong urge to gamble.
  • Make a list of activities you enjoy that you can do instead of gambling.
  • Spend time with supportive people in your life who do not gamble.

Trust me, people who are close to you may have noticed you’re having a tough time, even if they are unaware of your gambling. You may want to talk to your family and friends about what you’re experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you.

Take the next step: Make the connection.

It can be difficult to handle a gambling problem on your own. Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard connect with proven resources and effective treatments for the issues they face and find solutions that improve their lives. You can also consider connecting with:

  • Your doctor. Ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does. If you feel comfortable enough with your physician, he or she may be able to help you find tools to manage a gambling problem even without direct experience with Veterans.
  • A mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor
  • Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center. VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans.
  • A spiritual or religious advisor
  • A gambling helplines like Gamblers Anonymous or self-help groups

Explore these resources for more information about gambling problems in Veterans.


Please learn more about what you can do if you are experiencing specific concerns related to gambling, such as
 anxiety disordersdepression, and alcohol or drugs problems.

Problem Gambling Confidential Helpline Network
The National Council on Problem Gambling provides a toll-free, confidential helpline throughout the U.S. for anyone seeking help with gambling issues. Dial 1-800-522-4700.

Gamblers Anonymous
This website can help you find a local support group for people dealing with gambling problems. The nationwide toll-free number for immediate help is 1-888-GA-HELPS.
www.gamblersanonymous.org


Vet Center
If you are a combat Veteran, you can bring your DD214 to your local Vet Center and speak with a counselor or therapist — many of whom are Veterans themselves — for free, without an appointment, and regardless of your enrollment status with VA. In addition, any Veteran who was sexually traumatized while serving in the military is eligible to receive counseling regardless of gender or era of service.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp


VA Medical Center Facility Locator

Gambling may be related to other health conditions that need attention. VA provides world-class health care to eligible Veterans. Most Veterans qualify for cost-free health care services, although some Veterans must pay modest copays for health care or prescriptions. Explore your eligibility for health care using VA’s Health Benefits Explorer tool and find out more about the treatment options available to you.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1

Join the Conversation

Make the Connection is more than a website. It is a nationwide, online movement of millions. Join us and share Make the Connection on Facebook, Twitter, or Google+. Your words can encourage someone in need to reach out for support and treatment.

71FupU09Y9L._UY200_

I want to say a warm Thank You, to each and every one of our Veterans and Military personnel for your Sacrifice and Serving our Country. You should never have to deal with homelessness, addictions, or feel alone. YOU have a voice and I am here to make sure your voices are heard and you learn about all the HELP there is for you! And Thank goodness there are helpful sites out there ready to help our VETS like “MAKE THE CONNECTION . NET ” TODAY!

God Bless,
Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Advocate

How Does a Family Deal With Having A Member of The Family As An Addict At Holiday Time?

“Let’s face it. The holidays can be a stressful time for families – especially if you have a loved one with an ADDICTION. Ask for
outside help.”

What to Do When a Loved One Struggles with Addiction pic 3

We all know that holiday time can be stressful with all the drama happening just from the season, but then add into the mic dealing with a family member as an addict can be even more stressful for everyone. So how can families deal this it? Here to help is a featured article is from the community and website of  Drug Free.Org …

They help families get answers and resources to deal with this dilemma and much more all year long. When I was still deep within my gambling addiction, I can tell you I had no idea what impact this made on my family around the holidays. All I knew as I would gamble even more in desperation to get MONEY I had lost most likely to buy gifts for family. We all know how that turned out! YOU WILL never win enough for anything, let alone for holiday gifts to make everything look NORMAL for the holidays. So let’s get some advice on how do deal with the addict at holiday time…

guy with santa hat looking out of a window

First, there’s the frenzy in the air and what seems like a million things to do.  Second, our feelings are often magnified around this time. We may feel exhausted, over-committed and extra sensitive. We often expect everything to be perfect, aspiring to some idealized version of how things should be. But the truth is that life, especially with an addicted family member, can be messy and chaotic.

This can leave us feeling disappointed, frustrated or wistful.

You may feel alone – like you’re the only family in the whole world dealing with an addict and abuse issue. Please know that you are not alone. And, while it may seem impossible to enjoy yourself when a loved one’s life is out of control, there are things you can do to make yourself feel better. So why not ask for outside help from other PARENTS?

“In this season of giving, we invite you to take inspiration from these parents to take action and help make a difference for families in need.”

1. Jacqueline is volunteering as a parent coach. Jacqueline lost her son to an accidental overdose. Now she is a volunteer Parent Coach, helping other parents find healing. You can support families who are in need of one-on-one support by becoming a volunteer Parent Coach like Jacqueline or by making a gift of just $25. Your gift will allow Jacqueline and others continue to coach families and offer them hope and help for their child.

2. Cyndi is hosting a grassroots fundraiser. When Cyndi Glass lost her son Jeremy, she was determined to help ensure other families struggling with their child’s substance use find the support they need. Cyndi created Jeremy’s Run, raising money on behalf of the Partnership. You can support Cyndi’s fundraiser and others in our nationwide community of grassroots fundraisers — or you can host your own event. Whether you decided to run, walk, bike or bake, your fundraiser will provide valuable resources to families who are struggling.

3. Andrea is shopping at IGA where her purchases give back. Andrea is doing her part to end substance use simply by shopping. You can turn your holiday groceries into hope for families by shopping at your local IGA grocery store and purchasing specially marked IGA-branded products. A percentage of the products you buy goes back to Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

When you shop through smile.amazon.com — and indicate the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids as your charitable organization — we receive 0.5% of your total purchases at no extra cost to you.

4. Richard is shopping through Amazon Smile where his purchases give back. Like Richard, when you shop through smile.amazon.com — and indicate the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids as your charitable organization — we receive 0.5% of your total purchases at no extra cost to you. Need a holiday gift idea? Purchase a book from our Amazon bookstore to give to a family member or friend.

5. Bill is advocating for change. Bill and his wife Margot suffered a tragic loss when their son passed away after being denied insurance benefits. Now Bill is fighting for other families to receive benefits that the law already promises to protect, and is gathering signatures for further legal action.

6. Patty is teaching her community to carry life-saving Naloxone. Patty, who lost her son Sal to an overdose, made it her mission to ensure that every police department in her county carries Naloxone to assist them in reversing opioid overdoses and saving lives.

7. Michelle is telling her late daughter’s story. Michelle’s daughter Casey said that if something were ever to happen to her, she’d want her to write an honest obituary about her struggles with addiction. When Casey died of an accidental heroin overdose, Michelle has told her story everywhere she can to help break down the stigma that prevents so many from getting help.

Continuing Care eBook

8. Jane is sharing Partnership’s resources with other parents. Jane’s son Adam is now on the road to recovery thanks to the resources she found on drugfree.org — like our Treatment eBookMedication-Assisted Treatment eBook and Continuing Care eBook. Jane called our Helpline at 1-855-378-4373 and talked with a trained and caring masters-level specialist who helped her develop a personalized action plan to help Adam. Please share our online resources and Helpline with anyone you know who is struggling with a loved one’s substance use.

PSR_12days_recovery_2017

These are all amazing ways parents are reaching out and helping other parents with a loved one with an addiction. Helping others is a way to help shatter Stigma and support others in from the addiction epidemic and makes an impact on the families and our Communities! Reading is an informative way to become educated about addictions of any kind. So if you have a neighbor who has a loved one as an addict? Reach out to them this Holiday Season and see how you can help make the Season a little “Brighter.”  Download eBooks, PDF guides and more to help a loved one >>

“Author and Advocate, Catherine Townsend-Lyon”

 

I Am Happy To Welcome Author & Writer Lisa Boucher To My Recovery Blog For A Thanksgiving Special Interview.

I Am Happy To Welcome Author & Writer Lisa Boucher To My Recovery Blog For A Thanksgiving Special Interview.

Happy Thanksgiving and Welcome to “Recovery Starts Here” Special Author/Writer Interview. My name Catherine Lyon, Author and Advocate.  I know I am a little overzealous as I just bought Lisa’s new book titled; “Raising The Bottom: Making Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture” released just this past June 2017.

By the title, you may know some of what her book is about. But from all the 5-star Amazon reviews, there much more. And there is nothing like giving some practical and sound advice about alcohol and stopping alcoholism before it starts or happens.

Today though, we are going to learn more about who Lisa is and the “writer side” of her. So I hope you enjoy this “Special Interview” with Lisa Boucher.

Let’s get you introduced to everyone, shall we?

 

Share a little of what you do?
I am the author of 5 books and an RN. My first 4 books were novels, and my current book,
Raising the Bottom: Making Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture” is nonfiction.

I’ve worked in all sorts of departments at the hospital: ER, telemetry, medical, neuro, and psych. To be honest, my true love is the writing biz but that doesn’t pay that well at the moment, so a girls’ gotta have a day job!


Where were you born and raised? Youngstown, OH


Tell us more about you? (Like your education, family, hobbies.)
I have a nursing degree and a BA in English. Have always been crazy about animals. I used to have a quarter horse, Sham, who I loved almost as much as I do my twin sons. I love to cook, I’m part Italian, so food is a big deal in our family. I also garden, and like Cat, love to feed and watch the birds.


Do you have any latest news?
I do! Raising the Bottom recently won the 2017 Best Book Award in the category of Women’s Health, and it was a finalist in addiction/recovery category. I also am looking forward to 
Shape Magazine, yes, the Shape Magazine, to run a piece that I contributed to that and will be on their online magazine.

I was also interviewed by a writer at Epoch Times, so I look forward to reading what he put together. I wish I had a specific date, but from what my publicists told me, it should run late November or early December. It may even be out by the time Cat publishes this!



Anything we should know besides you as an Author & Writer?
I’ve been sober 28 years. I am certainly no prohibitionist, but I am troubled by the “women & wine” culture that seems to be a bit over the top. Let’s not forget the kids of these women. There’s nothing funny about a drunk mom. Ask any child who has one.




Do you like writing?
I love it. It’s a process and can be crazy and maddening and frustrating sometimes, but it’s who I am. I am a writer.




When and why did you begin writing?
Honestly, I heard a voice–an audible voice in my kitchen one day. I had just graduated from nursing school, back in 1994. I was home alone one day and musing about my life, my purpose. Was nursing it? A voice came through as loud and clear as if my husband was standing in the room, but he nor my small twins were home. The voice said–”Now I want you to write a book.” I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even have a computer at the time.


What inspired you to write your first book? God.

 

How did you come up with the title?
I can’t remember, it was a long time ago.  I guess it just came to me like my titles usually do. I have a writer’ly quirk that I can’t seem to write a thing until I do have the title.



Do you have a specific writing style?
No. With the novels, I just let it go and then do lots of cutting and pasting! With RTB, I did try to at least plan out the chapters.




How much of the book is realistic and are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?
The story is about my alcoholic mother; our family; my getting sober early in my disease. I then interviewed 10 other women and they shared their story. I focused on women people would never suspect they had a problem. High bottom women whose bottom was mostly internal: doctors, nurses, mother and grandmothers, young women.

I also did a chapter for the kids, “What Your Kids Say about You and Your Drinking. I feel they never get to have a voice, so I wanted to give them one. I also did a chapter, “Doctors, Nurses and Health Care.” There is so much that goes on behind the scenes at the hospitals and people have no clue. Healthcare has changed so much, and not for the better. The hospitals & some doctors, they want customers, not cures.


To craft your works, do you have to travel? Before or during the process?
I didn’t have to travel since I was local, but I did write some of it in Bimini. Bimini is a tiny island in the Bahamas and not much goes on there. It’s a perfect place to write. Ernest Hemingway wrote some of “Islands in the Stream” there.


Who designed the cover?
She Writes Press had a design/illustrator do it.




Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
Well, it’s not a novel, but I think every person knows someone who drinks too much. It’s a book for all, whether or not you drink–you know someone who does. Forewarned is Forearmed!


Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest?  Who is your favorite?
I have so many books in my reading pile. I’m reading Erik Larson, and my favorite right now is David Foster Wallace. He was brilliant but sadly, committed suicide at the age of 46. He was an amazingly gifted writer. Such a tragedy.



Outside of family members, name one person that supported your commitment to becoming a published author?
Well, not many. I really didn’t talk about it all that much. It seems that if you mention you’re writing a book, everyone chimes in and says me too! I wonder how many of those people will actually finish a book. It was such a tough long road, and still is, so I didn’t talk too much about writing with people other than my family. Of course, people knew I wrote, I just didn’t look to them for support.

 


If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?
No, I’m pleased with the way it turned out. Of course, if I sat and thought hard about it I would come up with something, but why make myself crazy? It’s too late to change anything so it is what it is and I think it’s pretty darn good. I did the best I could, and I know my writer’s voice came through strong & clear in “Raising the Bottom.”




Did you learn anything during the writing of your recent book?
Oh, my goodness yes! With each book, my writing got better and better. I grew as a writer.

If your book was made into a film, who would you like to play the lead?
No, I can’t act. Can’t see that at all!



Any advice for other writers?
Keep plugging away. I think if it’s for you to write, you’ll write. I tried to walk away from it so many times, but it seems I kept getting pulled back. If you can walk away from writing and be happy and never miss the agony of it all, you’re probably not a writer. But, if you keep writing even when the journey looks so dark, you’re a writer. We can’t not write. Period.


Will you write another book?
If God wills it, I believe I will. I have some ideas already, but I’m not ready to start another book yet.




What are you reading now?
Just finished *your) Cat’s book: “
Addicted to Dimes, Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat.”  (what a journey she had, but survived and came out stronger on the other side!).

I’m also reading Anatomy of an Epidemic” by Robert Whitaker.
He’s an investigative reporter and writes about the destructive nature of big Pharma: What he learned mirrors my experiences of what I’ve seen going on in the hospitals for 24 years. The pills doctors prescribe are ruining lives. It’s so sad to see lives destroyed by all the drugs they put people on. I’ve watched lives spiral down to the depths of despair, all because of the RX’s.


Do you remember the first book you read?
Anything Nancy Drew! I Think was the first series type books I can remember.

 

Is there one person, past or present, you would love to meet? Why?
Jesus, & Michelangelo. Can you think of two more interesting people?

CAT: LOL… I have to agree about meeting Jesus to ask, What’s It All About? And the other person….hhhhmmmmm, ELVIS! To let him know how bad The Drug Epidemic has gotten…And some to blame is like his Doctor, Over Prescribing Pain Meds and Anxiety Meds too!

 

Favorite Music and Color?
hmmm, that’s a hard one. I like Norah Jones and soothing instrumental music. In my car–I’m a country girl and love the old county music of Wille, Waylon, Kris Kristofferson, Cash, Tammy Wynette. Yeah, the old stuff!
Colors: Turquoise or Black.

 

What do you want to be written on your headstone as part of your Legacy?
Something about healing. I’ve worked with women for 28 years, and I know I’ve been blessed to have been a part of their healing. I also want to leave a legacy of having a bit of grit. The world can be a hard place, but we can be all right if we take God with us.  

 

“One of Lisa’s Favorite Place? ~ Palermo, Sicily – Italy!”

11698707_10207210394202904_1242910332215189119_n



Do you have a blog or website? Where can readers connect with you on Social Media? Sure do! WebsiteRaising The Bottom.


I’m on Twitter & Instagram: @LBoucherAuthor  – My Book Available on Amazon online.
  – FB page: Lisa Speaks of Raising The Bottom



I Thank you, Kim, for allowing me to share YOU with my readers and blog visitors. We all will enjoy learning all about you as a writer. WHAT an Honor it is to have you with us!

WISHING YOU and all my blog readers, friends, and visitors a very HAPPY, Healthy, and Sober THANKSGIVING! May God Bless You…



first-thanksgiving_texas


Author and Advocate, Catherine Townsend-Lyon