My Spotlight With Writer, Kristin Walker of Mental Health News Radio and More…


I am happy to welcome, Kristin Walker to Cat Lyon’s Reading & Writing Den’s “Writer Spotlight.” My name Catherine Lyon, Author, and owner of this Den!
Let’s get you introduced to everyone, shall we?

 

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Tell us your name and a little of what you do?

Kristin Sunanta Walker is my full name. I am the CEO of a behavioral health technology consulting firm, #everythingEHR and host/CEO of a podcast network Mental Health News Radio Network.


Where are you from? 
Huntington Beach, California but I now live in Asheville North Carolina


Tell us more about you? Like your education, family life. Etc.

My education is called the school of hard knocks. Severe and undiagnosed ADHD kept me from being any good at regular school. I also had depression and complex PTSD so I channeled all my energy into work. I started working full-time when I was 15. I am divorced but my best friend is my ex-husband who is also the father of our only child.


Do you have any latest news?

We have a book coming out with my podcast network in the Spring of 2018 called #mentalhealthified which is a compilation of many of the guests and podcasters on our network and their journey with addiction and mental wellness.


Are you a writer?

Yes. I have been writing since I was a teenager but not publicly until about five years ago. I have a book www.emotionalimpotence.com that is being written. Many of the essays are published in other author’s books. I’ll be completing it at the end of next year with many authors writing chapters about personality disorders.

When and why did you begin writing?

I needed to use my voice and I’m a horrid singer. I mean …. Feral cats show up to yowl if I sing, Lol, but I have plenty to get out. Writing and speaking became my outlet.

What inspired you to write your first book?

Sexual abuse at the hands of my biological father and getting entangled with a psychopath in my early forties.

 

How did you come up with the title?

Emotional Impotence was born of dealing with people who objectify other human beings, believe they are their property and have little to no empathy other than for themselves. To me, that is the epitome of being emotionally impotent. I want a book with many professionals and survivors that can explain how much damage these kinds of relationships can do to a person with empathy, especially those of us who have more empathy than others.

The second book “#mentalhealthified” is a hashtag we use for our podcast network. We want everyone in the world to feel positive about their mental well-being. We want them to get “#mentalhealthified.”

Do you have a specific writing style? More an Essay Style.


How much of the book is realistic and are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

Chapters I write will be about me and my life. The other chapters are written by clinicians, patients, advocates, etc. about their lives.

 

To craft your works, do you have to travel? Before or during the process?

Yes. I do travel a lot for business. I visit behavioral health agencies to consult with them about their electronic health record technology. I also go to more mental health conferences than I care to admit. We do live podcasts from these venues.

Who designed the covers?

Dan Cropper who is our graphic designer and web developer. We are still working out the graphics so the covers are not ready yet.

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

That mental/psychological abuse is just as, if not more, detrimental to your mental health than other types of abuse. No one should be stigmatized for struggling with mental health issues which include addiction.

Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest? Who is your favorite writer?

Hands down Alice Walker – been around a long time. Her writing makes the words you think with more beautiful.  Johnnie Calloway – Simple and to the point writing style that packs a powerful punch.  And, of course, you Cat!

Outside of family members, name one person that supported your commitment to becoming a published author?

Andrea Schneider. She is a therapist in Southern California. She is also an author and her blog articles about psychological abuse saved my life.

If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?

Nope! But they are still in creation so I am sure they will change a lot before publishing date. We are now in the process of getting the red-line edits and pulling our hair out and dealing with the gut punch from editors.

 

Did you learn anything during the writing of your recent book?

That I can actually do this….And that I don’t have to do it alone. I am so much of a collaborator that I really wanted to publish books with multiple authors. So I am grateful that I have a huge number of people around the globe that are authors and wanted to be a part of my books.


If your book was made into a film, who would you like to play the lead?

I can’t even fathom, Lol…

Any advice for other writers?

Be nice to your editor. They are actually trying to help you.

Share one thing about you that will surprise readers?

I can stick my entire fist in my mouth, Lol! Made me real popular in High School. Kidding. I was a saint in High School but I can stick my entire fist in my mouth. Dentists love me.


Will you write another book? 
MANY…


What are you reading now?  
Weed, Inc. by Ben Cort…


Do you remember the first book you read? 
Garfield comic books.

Is there one person, past or present, you would love to meet? Why?

The Dalai Lama which sounds so ridiculous. I literally just want to be in his energy space for 2 minutes and soak him in. The man oozes peace, contentment, and resilience.

 

Do you have any hobbies?

Podcasting. Writing. Traveling. Hanging with my friends at their houses until they beg me to leave. They are tired but man do we have intense, life-altering conversations while I am there.


Favorite Music?  It’s all over the map but I do love the 80’s.

Imagine a future where you no longer write. What would you do?

Telepathically communicate.


What do you want to be written on your
headstone as part of your Legacy?

If there is any bird shit on this headstone, leave it. It means wherever I am, I don’t care about this crazy thing called; “being a human being anymore.” Thank God.

 

Do you have a blog or website where readers can visit for updates, events or updates? www.mentalhealthnewsradio.com * Mental Health News on Blog Talk Radio

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Kristin, I sure thank you for sharing with me, my readers and friends! I always say God brings people into our lives at the right time and I am blessed he brought you into MINE!

Now friends, please connect with Kristin on Social Media and do go listen to her show as they are educational and informative. I will be on soon as we just taped a show together! I will let you know WHEN!

 

Kristin Sunanta Walker

 

Listen to Kristin Sunanta Walker who is CEO, everythingEHR, and CEO, MHNR Network. The host of Mental Health News Radio Links!

 

 

Please Connect With Kristin on Social Media! –  LinkedIn  –  Facebook  –  And Twitter

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Was Problem Gambling A Factor For The Las Vegas Mass Shooter? News About It Around The Web…

Was Problem Gambling A Factor For The Las Vegas Mass Shooter? News About It Around The Web…

“My first and foremost thoughts before my post are to send love, prayers, and condolences to all of those who were lost and the families suffering a loss of loved ones by another senseless shooting. I wish a speedy recovery for all those who were injured. To them? I want to say, PLEASE, if you begin to experience any delayed trauma or symptoms of PTSD, do not hesitate to reach out for help. There is NO SHAME in doing so. Know you are loved and not alone. The world and I have you in our prayers”   ~Author, Catherine Lyon

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I was sent a link to an article that was put out courtesy of The New York Times and found a couple more I will be sharing snippets within my post. The first was about the shooters gambling patterns and behaviors. As I have shared through social media, the more I read and heard coming from news reports, my gut feeling was telling me that this disgusting man may have had a gambling problem.

For the regular person who has NO CLUE about having a problem or addicted to gambling, would not see the same warning signs as I or others who have. While detectives and FBI profilers grapple with finding the motive or the WHY the shooter had killed, I think his gambling played a role in some way. 

 

He was a high-stakes gambler recognized in the casinos of Nevada. He dabbled in real estate investments in Texas. His last known full-time employment was 30 years ago. He was twice divorced. He had a pilot’s license and had owned two single-engine planes. (courtesy – The NY)


Now CNN and MSNBC happen to make a few remarks ‘off the cuff’ about the shooters gambling, but not in a way that would link it to be a factor in what this disturbed man carried out. Oh, they mentioned he was a millionaire, he made many trips to gambling destinations like Reno, Vegas, and gamble on cruise lines. He liked playing a $100 dollar a hand on video poker machines. Even millionaires can run out of money when addicted. Millionaires also carry out crimes and murder. 

And as you all know I am a recovering compulsive gambler, so when I read that in another article I just laughed. The paper wrote he would act ‘isolated’ when playing the machines, no smiles, no talking to others around him. That is called being “zoned out” when you have been playing for hours. What many don’t know when those machines, they are NOT like playing poker at a table. When you’re on video poker machines, each card that is dealt by the machine has a deck of electronic cards behind it!

So it is impossible for one to “card count” regardless if you were an accountant and are a “methodical math or numbers buff” when playing these machines. You are literally playing with 5 decks. The shooter was hitting machines that claimed a high 90’s percentage payout or payback while playing, but even then? The house is usually the one who will win not the player in the long run.

 

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“Details about Mr. Paddock’s career and livelihood were sparse, aside from observations by neighbors and family members that he routinely gambled large amounts of money. “He was a gambler, that was his job,” his brother, Eric Paddock, told reporters Monday at his home in Orlando. “He was a wealthy guy, playing video poker, who went cruising all the time and lived in a hotel room.”


The statement above kind of makes you laugh. If people were making a real living as a video poker player? Wouldn’t there be loads of them in the press and news? And I’m sure there would be even more people not becoming addicted gamblers right? Having a problem with gambling or being addicted has many phases to ones down spiral into a black abyss. It is also a doubled edged sword. If you are winning? You think you will win each time you gamble. But if you take a big loss? You will be out chasing lost dollars and keep gambling thinking you can win back your money.  Las Vegas is in the business to MAKE money, your money.

So they will entice you with many “perks” as they comp meals and rooms to keep you there or come often. And perks is how he met his current girlfriend by the way. She worked in the industry as a “High Limit Hostess.” Most all casinos have them. Same with going to the bars or dance clubs. They have “drink ladies” to mix up all your drinks and keep you ordering more alcohol when you PAY for a table. It sure is different times. It used to be, and maybe still is, that casinos gave away alcoholic drinks as the gambler played to try and make you feel “special,” keep playing longer as the more you drink the more stupid you get with money! Lol.

“The Shooter was 64, lived with his current girlfriend, Marilou Danley, 62.
She worked as a “high-limit hostess” at the Atlantis Casino in Reno, Nev. from 2010 to 2013, according to her LinkedIn account. On Monday, the casino said that she left the company several years ago. High-limit hostesses attend to members of a loyalty club called Club Paradise who spend large quantities of money and receive discounted hotel rooms, meals and other amenities, according to the casino’s website.”

 
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So, was it really fun and games for the shooter when he played? Was it just numbers for him? Was it he just had to WIN? Or was he chasing some loss? The Los Angeles Times reported.

 

“The shooter wanted to win and, like any savvy video poker player, he knew which machine to lock down at Mandalay Bay.

There was only one in the casino — a Jacks-or-better 9-6 machine, meaning it paid 9-to-1 credits on the full house and 6-1 on the flush and offered the casino only a slim advantage. Mandalay Bay was having a contest for a $100,000 drawing and players, based on the amount of their play the next day, would get tickets to enter. He got ready to work.

David Walton, a video poker playing pro, headed down to the casino floor early to nab the good machine. 

There sat the shooter. Not playing it. Just sitting there. Waiting. Walton settled into the machine next to him — not one with as generous a payout schedule — and waited for midnight. When it struck, the shooter hit the machine lightning quick, going at a rate of $120,000 per hour. He barely spoke. Walton said Paddock played 24 hours straight that day in 2007. Before the drawing, Walton wandered over to look at the 4-foot-by-4-foot drum holding all the tickets to the drawing to size up his chances at the $100,000.” (courtesy LA Times)

“Those hopes were diminishing quickly.  “Every ticket on there I saw through the mesh said ‘Stephen Paddock. Stephen Paddock. Stephen Paddock, Walton said. “He won.”


Now, my feelings are the shooter may have won that day, but a decade later, he would ride an elevator up to the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay, smash out two windows in his suite with a hammer, and aim a 10-minute, rapid-fire volley of gunfire at the 22,000 people gathered below for a country music festival and as he hit hundreds he killed 58 and injured hundreds more. The shooters brother Eric Paddock told reporters last week, “he gambled for more than 20 years.

“Successfully …. He did it because it was a way to have a fun life, and he didn’t go poor or broke doing it.”

Well, sorry, I would have to disagree. If gambling brought so much fun in his life, why did he feel he needed to KILL? Had he finally hit his”rock bottom”?  

I guess we won’t know for many weeks to come. Now that investigators had sent and served many search warrants on the shooters financial holdings and assets, I am sure we will get those answers. Was he going broke? Had he blew through all his millions of money? As a recovering addicted gambler, I know just how fast it happens. The shooter is not immune to the dangers of gambling addiction. He is human. Just because you think you can afford a gambling habit, does not make you again immune to becoming an addict. If he wasn’t having money problems from his gambling? Then maybe the disease took a mental and emotional toll on him and had begun to take over. Gambling is a 24/7 addiction. Even after you walk away from the slot or video poker machine, a card table, craps or roulette wheel.

I know, I had been there. It is exhausting. And it is why many first coming into treatment do have some mental health issues like I did. I had to be on Wellbutrin for over a year from all the obsessive gambling had depleted my brain chemical that triggers your “pleasure and reward” area of my brain. I also was put on anti-anxiety medication as it was in “high mania” mode when first coming to the crisis center AFTER my hospital stay from my first suicide attempt which was not my last. That is how bad I had spiraled down into “blackness.” Of course, I was severely depressed as well.

So as I close, let us remember that many families and loved ones are holding funerals and memorials for their loved one who were taken to soon and in a senseless way. It is NOT about the shooter. And again, my condolences to those families dealing with the loss.

THIS COULD HAVE BEEN Prevented if we had gun control laws in the books. That is another post for another day…

Author/Advocate, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

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(News Snippets Courtesy of “LA Times & The New Times” Referenced Articles)

September 2017 Is National Recovery Month…New Article In “Keys To Recovery To Celebrate It!”

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I AM CELEBRATING NATIONAL RECOVERY MONTH TO RAISE AWARENESS, EDUCATE, AND INFORM THE PUBLIC ~ GAMBLING ADDICTION IS A REAL ADDICTION…Sharing my newest article in “Keys To Recovery Newspaper!”

I happen to be reading an article the other day, in my AARP magazine, I receive each quarter. Now I know you are thinking? “What does Gambling have to do with AARP right?”

Well, there was a fantastic article, which called slot machines, “The New Electronic Crack.” It got me thinking about my old days, within my gambling addiction. What was the draw to slot machines for me? Was it all the lights, bells, and whistles? Or was it the disease itself with the constant racing thoughts, and triggers and urges abound? Do casinos really pump in oxygen to keep players alert?

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Well, I’m not sure, but anyone can become a gambling addict. Through my 10 and half years in recovery, I have advocated, written blogs and talked loudly about this illness. I remember when I first started communicating about gambling addictions, I actually had people leave comments on “How Stupid” it was for a person to become addicted to slot machines, and not horses, cards, or sports betting. Now, in their favor, back in the day, the most common gambling problems talked about, were sports and horse betting. Sometimes you’d hear talk about “rolling bones,” which is dice games. I took offense to some of the comments as it proved to me that first, how ignorant people can be when they are misinformed or have no education about this addiction. And second, that the STIGMA around gambling addiction was wide spread within the publics view.

Since moving to Arizona from South Oregon a few years ago, I was shocked to see how many Indian Casinos are all over Arizona. Now I know Oregon and California have casinos everywhere as well, but here, IT IS LIKE a Drug Addiction, and the Casinos are selling “Electronic Crack.” I feel it is time for this “drug” widespread as it is, and the dark side of this addiction needs to be exposed. It is time for the conversation, and awareness of the personal and financial hardship this addiction causes. Not only is it attacking our seniors, but it also has reached our kids. There are currently 17+million problem gamblers in the U.S. alone, HALF of who are high school and college kids, and now is another addiction parents have to talk to their children about, along with drugs and alcohol.

TIME TO WAKE UP, PEOPLE! Gambling addiction is the #1 addiction killing people by suicide. True! That is over drug and alcohol deaths.

Anyone can become addicted to gambling. When a person walks into a casino, they got YOU. It’s why there are no windows or clocks around inside. Ever notice that? And they offer you free drinks, and some are free alcohol. They send you coupons for free play, and discount hotel rooms and meals to keep you there longer. Marketing for casinos is a ploy to get you there and keep your money. Slot machines have the highest odds to the house as well. Which means, you rarely win. And now seniors are taking the hit. As the gambling industry booms, aggressive marketing tactics are targeting older patrons. Now, to be fair, not everyone is a problem gambler or becomes addicted. And No, I don’t feel it needs to be banned, ( not that it would ever happen!)  But the expansion and more access can make staying in recovery for many much harder.

In some of the past research I have done, when writing a post for another publication, I learned how seniors are becoming the target of predatory casino tactics. I read recently in AARP, of the 101 million visitors to America’s casinos in 2014 (the last year for which information was available), nearly half were age 55 or older, according to data from the gambling industry. In 2014, American casinos reported over $66 billion in gambling revenue, and much of that profit came from these older gamblers. Also shared in my AARP article I read, that a study published in the Journal of Gambling Studies, revealed that many older adults viewed the casino as a place where they can socialize and escape from loneliness or grief. When we retire, we seem to have more time on our hands. Long gone are the days that you had to go to Las Vegas or Atlantic City to gamble.

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Showgirls at the Welcome Sign – 1968

 

Thanks to the boom of the Indian Gambling offerings as of 1988, when the ‘Indian Gaming Regulatory Act’ legalized casino development on Indian lands. That sparked a loosening of state prohibitions on gambling and a nationwide casino building boom. Today, over 1,400 casinos are open across 40 states so far. In those states, casinos were very attractive to seniors who prefer to drive themselves. States with bigger populations of adults over 55, includes Florida, Pennsylvania, New York, Michigan, Ohio, Massachusetts, West Virginia, and where I lived, in the state of Oregon previously. All of these states now have expanded Indian Casino gambling in recent years, and now, State Lottery offerings on top of all of the casino expansion!

For myself, I know what I felt when I would first walk into a casino seeing the lights flashing, the noise, music and people laughing and looking like they are having a fabulous time as I got so excited that I was going to win, let alone what my brain chemicals were doing as I got so euphoric as if I did pop a pill, or stuck a needle in my arm. NOPE. IT WAS ALL my brain and body chemicals doing an inside “happy dance” of excitement! So, anyone can become addicted to gambling and for many different reasons.

“Not All Addictions Are Substance Use Anymore.”

So if you think you or someone you love or care for might have a problem, I would recommend visiting my friends at “The National Council on Problem Gambling and Gamblers Anonymous” for support and resources for a good start and direction. Today, it seems our government and states have decided to begin turning toward “Gaming” as a way to make a profit for their mistakes of not shortfall budgeting or not being fiscally responsible, so they are pushing on us, the “Good Ole Tax Payer.” now that IS predatory tactics.

BUT? That is a topic for another day and future post!

 


Author/Writer/Advocate, Catherine Townsend-Lyon 

September is also National Suicide Prevention Month…

September is also National Suicide Prevention Month…

IT IS A PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE & CRISIS IN THIS COUNTRY! So Let’s Have The Conversation…

BUT PLEASE:

“Don’t refer to suicide as “successful,” “unsuccessful,” or a “failed attempt.” Use “died by suicide,” “completed suicide,” or “killed him/herself.”

“Most people who die by suicide exhibit warning signs. Refrain from describing a suicide as “inexplicable” or “without warning.”

“Don’t quote the suicide note or describe the method used and Report on suicide as a public health issue, not a crime.”

“The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline toll-free number, 1-800-273-TALK(8255) connects the caller to a certified crisis center near where the call is placed.”

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

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Especially Our Vets! They Need Us Now More Than Ever!  https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/BeThere.aspx

Veteran Crisis Line & Military Crisis Line logo

Dial 1-800-273-8255, press 1        Text to 838255

You are not alone.  Help is available.

If you are a Veteran in crisis or know one who is, call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1 to confidentially speak with a trained, caring VA responder and get connected to services that can make a difference. Chat online or text with a VA responder to receive anonymous support now. Deaf or hard of hearing individuals using TTY can call 1-800-799-4889.

Why I am I Sharing This? I am a Suicide Survivor and Someone Was There For Me. I am Here For You!

#BeThe1To

#BeThe1To is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s message for National Suicide Prevention Month and beyond, which helps spread the word about actions we can all take to prevent suicide. The Lifeline network and its partners are working to change the conversation from suicide to suicide prevention, to actions that can promote healing, help and give hope… I AM!

Author. Catherine Townsend-Lyon

I Am Supporting Many Including SAMHSA As September 2017 Is “National Recovery Month” and I am Dually Diagnosed…

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National Recovery Month ~ Raise The Awareness!

Every September, SAMHSA sponsors Recovery Month to increase awareness and understanding of mental and substance use disorders and celebrate the people who recover. 

National Recovery Month (Recovery Month) is a national observance held every September to educate Americans that substance use treatment and mental health services can enable those with a mental and/or substance use disorder to live a healthy and rewarding life.

Recovery Month celebrates the gains made by those in recovery, just as we celebrate health improvements made by those who are managing other health conditions such as hypertension, diabetes, asthma, and heart disease. The observance reinforces the positive message that behavioral health is essential to overall health, prevention works, treatment is effective, and people can and do recover.

There are millions of Americans whose lives have been transformed through recovery. Since these successes often go unnoticed by the broader population, Recovery Month provides a vehicle for everyone to celebrate these accomplishments. Each September, tens of thousands of prevention, treatment, and recovery programs and facilities around the country celebrate National Recovery Month. They speak about the gains made by those in recovery and share their success stories with their neighbors, friends, and colleagues. In doing so, everyone helps to increase awareness and furthers a greater understanding about the diseases of mental and substance use disorders.

Now in its 27th year, Recovery Month highlights the achievements of individuals who have reclaimed their lives in long-term recovery and honors the treatment and recovery service providers who make recovery possible. Recovery Month also promotes the message that recovery in all of its forms is possible and encourages citizens to take action to help expand and improve the availability of effective preventiontreatment, and recovery services for those in need.

The Recovery Month theme is carefully developed each year to invite individuals in recovery and their support systems to spread the message and share the successes of recovery. Learn more about this year’s theme.

Materials produced for the Recovery Month observance include print, Web, television, radio, and social media tools. These resources help local communities reach out and encourage individuals in need of services, and their friends and families, to seek treatment and recovery services and information. Materials provide multiple resources including SAMHSA’s National Helpline 1-800-662 HELP (4357) for information and treatment referral as well as other SAMHSA resources for locating services.

LET’S RAISE AWARENESS TOGETHER AND STOP THE STIGMA!

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    My Voice My Legacy ~ By Author/Advocate
on Sale
All September 2017
Catherine Townsend-Lyon 

 

“We The People Declare A State of Emergency ~ Today Is Overdose Awareness Day!”

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“WE THE PEOPLE ARE FED UP WITH WASHINGTON, D.C. ~ TODAY IS ‘International Overdose Awareness Day!”

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Facing Addiction

Dear Author & Recovery Advocate, Catherine Lyon,

Today is International Overdose Awareness Day. We all know someone, who has suffered the ultimate loss. Our family, our friends, our neighbors, our children. Nobody is immune from the addiction crisis. Today is a day to remember, reflect, and speak out. Overdoses are preventable. We must do more.
This is a national emergency. Several weeks ago, President Trump stated his intention to declare a national emergency around the opioid epidemic. Since his statement – NO NATIONAL EMERGENCY HAS BEEN DECLARED.

Words are one thing, taking action is another. Action is what we need. Please, take a moment today and sign our letter to President Trump urging him to turn his words into action and officially declare a national emergency.

White House
What would a national emergency mean?

It could open up various new funding streams from the federal government. It could mean increased access to medically assisted treatment. And it could loosen restrictions on using Medicaid dollars to gain access to treatment.

Show the President you are willing to do more than talk – show him and his administration you are willing to act. Please, take a moment today to sign our letter urging President Trump to turn his words into action and officially declare this national emergency here: sign our letter to President Trump!!

Thank you for all you do.
 

With warm regards,
 

Michael King,
Director of Outreach & Engagement


How Do We Really Know When We Are Over Emotional Abuse? Author, Annie Kaszina May Have The Answer!

Hello and Welcome Recovery Friends and Visitors,

One of my favorite things to do when I am not super busy is to visit many other blogs and websites that have good solid information and helpful advice. That is what you will find when visiting Annie Kaszina’s website. She is an author and coach and is a must site for all my friends who have been through Emotional Abuse.

It was one my underlying issues of why I turned to gambling addiction. I found her recent article interesting and helpful, so I wanted to share some of it here. I hope you will go visit her website to read the full article: “Recovery From Emotional Abuse.”

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“How do you know when you are over emotional abuse?” is, in my experience, the question least asked.  Abuse survivors ask, instead, a) “Can I heal after all that I have been through?”,  b) “How long will it take to get over this?” and c) “How soon will I feel better?”

All three are important questions which I have written about before – and, doubtless, will write about again.  Meanwhile, for those who might want quick answers, here goes:

  1. It is always possible to heal – no matter what you have been through. However, healing will require you to step out of your default thinking about being somehow broken.
  2. Feeling better hinges on your feelings of self-worth rather than the passage of time. For as long as you keep reliving the hurt, you cannot get over it.
  3. You only have to start rebuilding your feelings of self-worth to feel better. To keep feeling better and better, you only need to keep growing your feelings of self-worth. That is perfectly realistic.  However, if you have been in an emotionally abusive relationship, your feelings of self-worth will take some nurturing.  Those feelings are, at best, mere seedlings.  They deserve to grow into oak trees. 

“How do you know when you are over emotional abuse?”  

This takes us right back to our opening question, “How do you know when you are over emotional abuse?”  We need to start the answer from an understanding of how the process of abuse actually works. Two key things happen to anyone who is at the sharp end of an abusive relationship,

  • You hear/experience an awful lot of negative things about yourself.
  • You take them on board as your truth.

Emotionally abusive partners are not the world’s most generous creatures.  There is just one thing that they “lavish’ on you.  That thing is, of course, vilification.

Vilification is the language of the Vile.

Vilification is, as nobody else seems to have said, the language of the Vile.  Abusers say vile things about their victims.  They, also, treat their victims vilely. We, the abused, take that vileness on board and imagine that it is our own.

When an emotional abuser moves on, he (or she) will gather up their worldly goods and assets (plus as many as yours as they can get away with taking).  The one thing that they are in no rush to take back in their vilification.  That, as they see it, is their enduring contribution to your life.  They leave it with you.  You own it.  And it continues to make your life a misery.

So, how do you know when you are over emotional abuse?

You are over the emotional abuse when you don’t buy into the vilification of yourself any longer.  Now, I don’t know how big of a deal that sounds to you. However, it is not quite as easy to do as it may sound.  The reason is simple – you probably don’t have the faintest idea of the process of vilification that you routinely put yourself through.

Vilification signs you need to listen out for

What are the vilification signs that you need to listen for – in yourself?

  • Do you think of yourself as stupid, or weak?
  • Do you think you are “broken”?
  • Do you worry that you can never have a good, happy future – because of what you have been through?
  • Do you feel unlovable?
  • Do you doubt whether a decent man would ever want to love and cherish you?

 

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So, please stop by Annie’s website and read the “rest of the story”  Recover From Emotional Abuse. Her Free Report Here: https://anniekaszina.leadpages.co/7things/