Urges, Triggers, and Cravings OH MY! Sharing How Hard Early Recovery Is Dealing With UTC…

Urges, Triggers, and Cravings OH MY! Sharing How Hard Early Recovery Is Dealing With UTC…

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Hello and Welcome Everyone,

You are here to visit for a reason. You may have a gambling problem, someone you know may have a problem with gambling, or you are looking to be educated and informed about this disease and cunning addiction. Whatever the reason?

I am happy you are here! I visit many recovery blogs and sites and wanted to share a little as to HOW HARD it can be to stop gambling and oh those cravings and urges that may cause triggers to go out again regardless of the consequences.

I know, I’ve been there …Here are a few posts I’ve seen around the web to show just how hard it is from real people from Feed Spot and REDDIT. COM


Day 21 = 3 Weeks!!

The urges are still there, but the feeling of relief and desire to work through recovery are more powerful right now.

Actually feeling like I have some pride and dignity again.

Thank you to everyone on this Reddit site for your insights and stories. I’m staying on board here. We’re all in this fight together with the same desire… to be free of gambling. With you, working it one day at a time.

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“_ uck Gambling!

That’s my mantra. Day 6. My downfall was always complacency. I’d gamble, go broke. Swear I’d never gamble again then relapse after a month and go broke again.

Think of all the vacations you could take with your significant other, or family and friends. Think of all the people you could help in your life with that money instead of throwing it away. Think of all the new skills you can acquire with the time and energy put into gambling.

Saying this to myself as much as anyone else. Don’t be complacent in your recovery. Stay serious, stay steadfast and strong.

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Weekends are the hardest

But fuck gambling! I hope everyone is staying strong, keeping busy, and not gambling this weekend…


A Comment to this post:

Weekends are definitely harder for me as well, but just accumulating clean weekends and experiences without gaming has helped a ton. Looking back on the first few weeks, I was just trying to get through each hour on the weekend. I’m glad to have finally started to develop a routine outside of gambling and will need to continue to lean on that routine as football season approaches.

Thanks for sharing. Enjoy your weekend my friend.

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HOW TO DEAL WITH THE Craving and Urges To GAMBLE:
Courtesy of Help Guide Org – Gambling Addiction Facts.

Feeling the urge to gamble is normal, but as you build healthier choices and a strong support network, resisting cravings will become easier.

When gambling cravings strike:


Avoid isolation.
 Call a trusted family member, meet a friend for coffee, or go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.

Postpone gambling. Tell yourself that you’ll wait 5 minutes, fifteen minutes, or an hour. As you wait, the urge to gamble may pass or become weak enough to resist.

Visualize what will happen if you give in to the urge to gamble. Think about how you’ll feel after all your money is gone and you’ve disappointed yourself and your family again.

Distract yourself with another activity, such as going to the gym, watching a movie, or practicing a relaxation exercise for gambling cravings.

Coping with lapses:  If you aren’t able to resist the gambling craving, don’t be too hard on yourself or use it as an excuse to give up. Overcoming a gambling addiction is a tough process. You may slip from time to time; the important thing is to learn from your mistakes and continue working towards recovery.


Self-help for gambling problems:  
The biggest step to overcoming a gambling addiction is realizing that you have a problem. It takes tremendous strength and courage to own up to this, especially if you have lost a lot of money and strained or broken relationships along the way. Don’t despair, and don’t try to go it alone. Many others have been in your shoes and have been able to break the habit and rebuild their lives. You can, too.

Learn to relieve unpleasant feelings in healthier ways:  Do you gamble when you’re lonely or bored? Or after a stressful day at work or following an argument with your spouse? Gambling may be a way to self-soothe unpleasant emotions, unwind, or socialize.

But there are healthier and more effective ways of managing your moods and relieving boredom, such as exercising, spending time with friends who don’t gamble, taking up new hobbies, or practicing relaxation techniques.

Strengthen your support network:  It’s tough to battle any addiction without support, so reach out to friends and family. If your support network is limited, there are ways to make new friends without relying on visiting casinos or gambling online. Try reaching out to colleagues at work, joining a sports team or book club, enrolling in an education class, or volunteering for a good cause.

Join a peer support group:  Gamblers Anonymous, for example, is a twelve-step recovery program patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous. A key part of the program is finding a sponsor, a former gambler who has experience remaining free from addiction and can provide you invaluable guidance and support.

Seek help for underlying mood disorders. Depressionstresssubstance abuse, or anxiety can both trigger gambling problems and be made worse by compulsive gambling. Even when gambling is no longer a part of your life, these problems will still remain, so it’s important to address them.

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Dispelling Common Myths About Depression (2)
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How to stop gambling for good:  For many problem gamblers, it’s not quitting gambling that’s the biggest challenge, but rather staying in recovery—making a permanent commitment to stay away from gambling. The Internet has made gambling far more accessible and, therefore, harder for recovering addicts to avoid relapse.

Online casinos and bookmakers are open all day, every day for anyone with a smartphone or access to a computer. But maintaining recovery from gambling addiction or problem gambling is still possible if you surround yourself with people to whom you’re accountable, avoid tempting environments and websites, give up control of your finances (at least at first), and find healthier activities to replace gambling in your life.

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LASTLY:

 

Finding alternatives to gambling:

Maintaining recovery from gambling addiction depends a lot on finding alternative behaviors you can substitute for gambling.

Some examples include:

Reason for gambling Sample substitute behaviors
To provide excitement, get a rush of adrenaline Sport or a challenging hobby, such as mountain biking, rock climbing, or Go Kart racing
To be more social, overcome shyness or isolation Counseling, enroll in a public speaking class, join a social group, connect with family and friends, volunteer, find new friends
To numb unpleasant feelings, not think about problems Try therapy or use HelpGuide’s free Emotional Intelligence toolkit
Boredom or loneliness Find something you’re passionate about such as art, music, sports, or books and then find others with the same interests
To relax after a stressful day As little as 15 minutes of daily exercise can relieve stress. Or deep breathing, meditation, or massage
To solve money problems The odds are always stacked against you so it’s far better to seek help with debts from a credit counselor

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I truly hope this information will help many who may be in early recovery, thinking you may have a gambling problem, or to help someone you know who may struggle with gambling. Know you can always support resources page for more services or even email me at lyonmedia@aol.com support. I am always here to help others from this addiction, so do not hesitate to email me!

~Catherine

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Do You Feel Validated While Maintaining Recovery? Special Guest Post By Marilyn Fowler . . . Do You Feel Validated?

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Here some questions we need to ask ourselves and ponder while maintaining our RECOVERY. Because Validation is an important aspect of recovering from addictions.


Do You Feel Validated?
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Do You Allow Others Opinions Determine How You Feel?
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Is Being “In Self” at Times Can Be a Good Thing? YES!

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Validation–that sense of self as unique, worthy, and valued, with a connection with others and the universe. Validation, with no judgment, is vital for inner peace and happiness, and without it, you may feel you don’t matter. You may even feel invisible. In other words, validation requires unconditional recognition, acceptance, and appreciation for the whole person you are.

You may remember when someone lifted your spirits, and you felt good about yourself. And you may remember when some put you down, and you felt like a nothing inside. So others have the power to validate positive and negative, and you go through the ups and downs of how others make you feel.

Most of us get some positive validation from others, but there are those who live their whole life with a self-image of nothingness. When I worked in the jail, I counseled the homeless mentally ill. Sometimes I told them I saw their bright mind and good heart, and they could do something with their life. Their reaction was always the same. They’d pause, overwhelmed with tears, and say, “Nobody ever said that to me…nobody.” Then they’d wipe their tears on their shirt sleeve and smile. Validation gave them some meaning in their empty life.

We need to let each other know we’re important and appreciated, but in order to gain dominion over our own feelings, we need to learn self-validation from within. What would it be like if you validated yourself, and didn’t need it from anyone else? You would have dominion over your feelings, and it would prevent opinions by others from invalidating you. And you’d be free.

“The only permission, the only validation, and the only opinion that matters in our quest for greatness is our own.”  ~Steve Marboli

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Self-validation – is a life-long process, and our experiences teach us what we need to know about ourselves. We become less critical; we gain more understanding and tolerance of our total self, and we free ourselves to be who we truly are. We don’t create a new person. We simply allow our true authentic ‘Self’ to emerge.

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So how do you learn self-validation with the strength to maintain it?

1.  Assume the role of an observer, and think about how you really feel about you. Sad, wounded, pretty good, could be better, disappointed, etc. No judgment. Just observe and let it be.


2.  You don’t have to like every feeling you have, but you do need to own all of your feelings. They’re yours. They belong to you. And you can do whatever you want with them. Throw them in the trash, hang them on the wall, get a refund. Notice when you’re feeling judgmental, and decide you’re done with that feeling. Take judgment and criticism out of your life forever.

3.  Identify and list what you consider positive and negative about you. Decide what you want to keep and what you want to release.

An Example:  I interrupt people when they’re talking. I can release that one.
I let dishes pile up in the sink. It’s okay to do that. (Smile) etc.

4.  Start being kind to you, and know you deserve it. Give yourself what you missed as a child; begin giving yourself what you seek from others; when you feel unhappy or stressed, ask what you need, and when possible provide it for yourself; watch for success and praise yourself.

5.  Accept mistakes and shortcomings as part of your learning process, and every day, look in the mirror and say, “This is me, warts and all. And I’m absolutely amazing.”

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As you move along, practice relating less to your human self and more to your Higher Self, that part that transcends human pain and knows the truth of who you are. Take back your dominion over how you feel, and let that higher Self-shine with love and peace in your heart. You are beautiful.

May you always be true to your special Self.  ✔💕✨✨💕

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Honored 2 Be Chosen Another Year! my Recovery Blog Is In “The Top 25 Gambling Addiction Recovery Blogs” By FeedSpot…

Honored 2 Be Chosen Another Year! my Recovery Blog Is In “The Top 25 Gambling Addiction Recovery Blogs” By FeedSpot…

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It is not every day we get a little “hug” and affirmation of being a loud advocate about gambling addiction and problem gambling. When first started my gambling recovery blog, It was to just share how I was working my recovery from full-blown gambling addiction. Share what it was like, how it devastated my life and me and my husbands financial future. It almost cost me my life twice with two failed suicides as I was also suffering from many mental health disorders that went undiagnosed since childhood.

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In fact, after my first suicide attempt, and then a long stay in an addiction/mental health crisis center after leaving the hospital, both my primary Doctor and the center Psychiatrist agreed I was suffering from high mania, anxiety, severe depression, PTSD, and a few other disorders.  All the symptoms came to the surface while deep in my gambling addiction. So much so that right before my downward spiral I began to abuse alcohol in the last 4 months prior to my crash and burn first failed suicide attempt. That was how out of control I was and some of it I don’t even remember to this day.

So now, I am a dually-diagnosed woman maintaining recovery. I am proud to blog my journey, share what I have been through in hopes of helping as many as I can who are stuck in the insane “Cycle” of this addiction and disease. And why I am honored and proud to share that my “Little Gambling Recovery Blog” had been chosen again as a “Top 25 Gambling Addiction Website and Blog” sharing my story, my recovery, HOPE, and helpful resources to many …I came in at #5 this year and very proud of this accomplishment. WHY? Because it is vital to “Raising Awareness, Educate the Public, and let others know who may have a gambling problem that they can recover without SHAME or Stigma … PLEASE VISIT To See Announcement: “Feedspot Top 25 Gambling Recovery Blogs.”

“Our Past Does Not Define Who We Are and Can Be From Gambling!”

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Top 25 Gambling Addiction Blogs & Websites For Gambling Addicts in 2019

 

5. Recovery Starts Here – Gambling Addiction

Recovery Starts Here - Gambling AddictionArizona, USA About Blog Recovery Starts Here is a Bet Free, Sober, & Clean Blog Sharing Hope in Recovery One Day at a Time written by Catherine Townsend-Lyon.
Frequency about 2 post per month.
Blog catherinelyonaddictedtodimes..
Facebook fans n/a. Twitter followers 4,652.
Book “Addicted To Dimes: Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat”
on

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My Book Now on Amazon!

Recovery News: ‘Transformations Treatment Center’ Has a Very Big Announcement and Comes From Lyle Fried. Just For Our HEROES…

Recovery News: ‘Transformations Treatment Center’ Has a Very Big Announcement and Comes From Lyle Fried. Just For Our HEROES…

Most know I advocate about addicted and problem gambling. However, I’ve educated myself about other addictions so I may network and support many who advocate and treat addictions. We can do so much more for those who suffer together within unity to save even more lives. Addiction does not discriminate. It “touches all walks of life including our Vets, Active Military, Police and Firemen, even EMT’s and many more.

And? We all know that addictions and the “cycle” are the same from one addiction type to the next.

So when exciting news from a friend shared in his newsletter about a New Program being offered and as I am about share, my friend Mr. Lyle Fried who I met when he worked at “The Shores” but is now at the amazing “Transformations Treatment Center ~ Hope 4 Our Heroes” located in Delray Beach, FL. I just HAD TO SHARE IT! They treat substance abuse and Mental Health. That is important to me as I am dually-diagnosed.

Another buddy of mine also works with Lyle at Transformations that I got to finally meet this past April 2019 at Arizona’s State Capitol & Speaking Event for “The Ride Around America 4 Addiction Awareness” of Big Jim Downs.

Of course, I am talking about Mr. Randy Grimes! He is a former NFL Pro of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and we’ve been friends a long time but never met in person. He and his beautiful wife Lydia came too! Best Day and Speaking Event I had spoken at EVER! Lol.

Ok, ok, let me get back to Lyle and the Big Announcement About Transformations!

Help For Our Heroes

We are excited to formally announce the new branding of our veterans and first responders program here at Transformations Treatment Center and wanted to share with you a little bit about how this came to be. Program founder, Carlos Farina, enlisted the help of some of his clients to come up with a name that truly represented the heart of the program. What our clients came up with, in our opinion, hit the nail on the head – the Help For Our Heroes Program.

Now we just needed a logo. One night, Carlos must’ve been so excited about the new branding that he couldn’t sleep, so he decided to sketch some ideas of what he thought the logo should look like. What he came up with was great, we just needed to refine it a bit and we ended up with what we feel is an all-encompassing representation of the program Carlos built.

New Website and Social Media

Along with a new name, the Help For Our Heroes Program will also have its own website as well as its own Facebook page, which are now both live and ready for all of you to visit. We are so grateful to have been able to create these unique pages for a program that has helped hundreds of our veterans and first responders and we are so excited to share them with all of you.
Help For Our Heroes – Website
Help For Our Heroes – Facebook Page
Check out our new brochure!

Click here to download

If you would like to schedule a tour or receive any of our printed materials, feel free to reach out to me.
MAKE SURE YOU VISIT THEM https://helpforourheroes.com/

And If You Know a First Responder, Military, Policemen Friends you may know who may be Suffering in SILENCE? Please Share the link above with them or their family!

Many Thanks to Lyle for permission to share these Vital Services with all my Recovery Blog Friends and Visitors!!

Advocate/Author,
Catherine Lyon

Lyle Fried, CAP, ICADC
Client Services Representative
Transformations Treatment Center
Phone: (888) 919-2619
Cell: (772) 332-8711
LyleF@transformationstreatment.com
www.transformationstreatment.center

****The Help For Our Heroes Program
is part of a comprehensive treatment curriculum offered at Transformations Treatment Center. Transformations are licensed by the Department of Children and Family Services (DCF) and accredited by The Joint Commission as well as the Commission for Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities (CARF). Learn more about our accreditations. 

Here is a little more about the New Services 4 Our Heroes:

This program is specifically designed for military veterans, police officers, corrections officers, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel to help them cope with the problems incurred by job stress and chemical dependency.
This program is led by a military veteran and former first responder who is also a Masters Level therapist. He designed this program to help our veterans and first responders overcome the underlying issues that lead to addiction.

These brave men and women are subject to a level of physical, emotional, and mental stress unlike anyone else. As their jobs have become even more demanding, stress levels have increased to the point where they experience some of the country’s highest rates of substance abuse, depression, and suicide. Our program has successfully treated hundreds of veterans and first responders nationwide, setting them on the path to a healthy, sober life.

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Help For Our Heroes

May Was Mental Awareness Month. One Last Guest Post and Share By Tony Roberts. No Needs To Suffer Alone.

May Was Mental Awareness Month. One Last Guest Post and Share By Tony Roberts. No Needs To Suffer Alone.

MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS NEEDS TO BE ALL YEAR

Mental Illness on The Streets
By Tony Roberts
Of
“Delight In Disorder Blog”

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Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”  (Matthew 8:20)

 

Jesus understood what it is like to be without a home.  Yes, he was a Rabbi supported by the financial contributions of his followers, but he was also a wandering soul at the mercy of the hospitality or rejection of strangers. Masses moved from jubilant shouts of “Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!!” to vehement cries, “Crucify him!” From a divine perspective, the homelessness of Christ was part of his mission. But this certainly didn’t lessen his human suffering.

Jesus teaches us that if we want to follow him, we too will take up crosses such as he did. This has meant many things for Christians throughout the ages —  from verbal harassment to capital punishment, and everything in between. The Apostle Paul and his companions certainly knew sacrificial hardship. He writes:

 

To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless.  (1 Corinthians 4.11)

 

Homelessness? Jesus gets it. Paul gets it. But does this offer any hope to any of the 150 million people in the world who are homeless today?

The first step to shining the light of Gospel hope is to better grasp the darkness. What causes a person to become homeless?  Marjorie Baldwin suggests it can be many things:

 

What is the underlying problem? There are numerous factors that may lead to homelessness (e.g. domestic violencesubstance abuse, unemployment), but one of the most important is untreated mental illness. Estimates suggest that, nationwide, one-third of homeless persons have a serious mental illness (SMI). In some places, the proportion of mentally ill among the homeless is even greater: 70% in Roanoke, Virginia (2007) and 67% in Colorado Springs (2009). [Torrey 2014; TAC 2015] Most homeless people with serious mental illness are not receiving treatment; many do not even know they are ill. (“Homeless, Mentally Ill, and Neglected”).

 

The vast number of homeless persons in the U.S. who have a mental illness is a travesty, an indictment on a nation who fooled itself into believing that the best way to treat brain-sick patients was to dope them up with psychotropics, kick them out of advanced hospitals and expect community-based homes to magically appear which would offer expert care medical, psychological, physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and relational such that healing might happen.

It hasn’t.

That is the darkness. So where is the ray of hope? I’d like to shine three points of light.

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1.  Food 4 Souls is shining a light in the midst of homeless camps in Indianapolis, Indiana. Their vision is:

 

We exist to go out and serve our homeless community with unconditional love and acceptance by providing Hope in ChristMeeting Daily Needs andAligning Resources to those who are ready to move into a life beyond homelessness.

 

Community Relations Director Dawn Adams shared a story on an episode of the podcast Revealing Voices about “L.A.” she met sequestered at a far-end of one of the homeless camps. She called out for him, but he wouldn’t budge. She told him she would leave a meal and be back the following week.

The next week, she returned. Same thing. Call out. No response. Leave meal. Promise to be back.

This went on for some time. L.A. finally came out to meet her. He was still reserved but opened up more each week. Dawn came week after week. Month after month. Year after year. She said in time L.A. revealed estrangement, emotional wounds, spiritual scars. Dawn stressed that she is not a mental health expert, but she saw that L.A. got the help he needed. Dawn offered L.A. something beyond what his essential care providers could. She became his friend.

We asked if Dawn still sees L.A.. She smiled and answered yes. But not on the streets. He has an apartment of his own now. They meet for coffee at Starbucks.

 

Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.  (Matthew 25:40)

 

2. Mental Illness Policy.org offers “unbiased information for policymakers and media.” In an age of relative truth and fake news, this is a very bold claim. Founder D.J. Jaffe provides here a vast clearinghouse of resources on mental illness past, present, and future. An advocate since 1980, it seems he has yet to lose any passion for drawing attention to the needs of those who are too often overlooked.

Jaffe’s articles and recommendations have been published in numerous magazines and newspapers including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, National Review, Forbes. He has appeared on national news broadcasts explaining issues surrounding mental illness and violence. Federal, state and local policymakers have solicited and relied on his scholarship. He is widely credited as the primary mover behind Kendra’s Law, New York state legislation that allows judges to mandate treatment for people with serious mental illness and a history of violence.

Jaffe is the author of Insane Consequences: How The Mental Health Industry Fails The Mentally Ill (Prometheus Books, 2017).

The thing I admire most about Jaffe and the reason I support Mental Illness.org is that he refuses to accept conventional myths that those of us with mental illness always know and can accomplish what is best for us. Hard experiential evidence and emerging scientific discoveries demonstrate that we are often our own worst enemies. Our minds betray us. We need rational laws and reasonable resources that protect us and others from our illness.

 

3.  Kennedy-Krieger Institute has a mission:

 

“To transform the lives of children with disorders of the brain through groundbreaking research, innovative treatments, and life-changing education.”

 

And their vision is:

 

“Discoveries of how the brain develops and functions are occurring at an accelerating pace. The Kennedy Krieger Institute leads the way in translating these scientific advances into new therapies and educational interventions, while providing an inspirational environment for training tomorrow’s leaders in the field. These successes benefit millions of children and families around the world.”

 

The reason I’m highlighting Kennedy-Krieger is simple. His name is Jacob.

Jacob was born with Down syndrome. Like many persons with this unique genetic profile, Jacob brought joy into the world and shared delight with everyone he met. He was the life of the party.

I say was because when he hit puberty, he collapsed. Literally. He went into a comatose-like state where all he would do is lie on the ground. He only got up to eat and void. His parents, Don and Joyce, were advised to take him to Kennedy-Krieger at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland. There they met Dr. George Capone who, by his own admission, guessed what was going on.

Dr. Capone had heard of a study from the University of Missouri of 12 similar cases. They had gained approval for and administered experimental treatment. Out of the 12; five got better, five stayed the same, and three regressed.

Don asked Dr. Capone if he recommended the treatment and if so, could he provide it. Dr. Capone said he could not.  Don told me there was something calculated in his facial expression when he said, “I can not.” What did he mean? Don wondered.  I don’t recommend it? It’s not my specialty? Maybe even, Kennedy-Krieger has yet to approve it?

At any rate, it didn’t happen. Jacob would endure another 5 years of a state of catatonia where he seemed to be living in another world.

But that’s not the end of the story. Research on the treatment expanded, much conducted by Kennedy-Krieger and similar institutions. Many successes were reported, some dramatic. The treatment went from becoming experimental to being recommended. Even by Dr. Capone. Don and Joyce decided to give it a shot.

Jacob is now 18. His teachers say he is making amazing progress. His principal, who has known Jacob since kindergarten, says glimpses of his exuberant joy are back. Jacob is ready to launch into the world and share his delight with others.

 

Homelessness is not so much about a lack of housing as it is a lack of mental health care. We combat homeless when we become friends fight for better laws and support research for a cure.

Let’s Chat Recovery Lifestyle! Do You Just Live IN Recovery? Or Live an Amazing Life While Maintaining Recovery?

Let’s Chat Recovery Lifestyle! Do You Just Live IN Recovery? Or Live an Amazing Life While Maintaining Recovery?

Welcome Recovery Warriors, Supporters, and New Visitors,

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Now that summer is almost here; many get outdoors, plan vacations, and LIVE LIFE. So, how do you still put your gambling recovery first?

See, there was a time I could never do that. What I mean is, when I was still active in my gambling addiction, it seemed even in the summer or vacation time, it always had to have some form of “gambling venue” or option attached or nearby. How sick is that? It made me begin to think? How do others maintaining recovery from gambling put their recovery first and a balanced healthy Lifestyle?

I felt and have seen my own recovery go through phases as we begin to live life again while keeping mindful of our recovery journey. We don’t “LIVE IN Recovery; we “LIVE LIFE while maintaining it” …I hear too many people who only work 12-Step recovery programs, (no offense) that they only have friends within the 12-step program and leave all other friends behind or only do the 12-Step program activities. That, to me, is not living a well-balanced lifestyle or recovery.

And Those slogans? They never made any sense to me? “Meeting Make It!” No, they don’t. You need to do the work maintaining recovery and a whole lot more. Only attending meetings is NOT going to keep you Bet Free, Clean, and Sober. A few years back, I came across a fantastic article written about these topics and concerns that kind of made my points and made a lot of sense to me then!

I began to put my recovery first and learning to have a balanced lifestyle after reading this article at “The Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation” Lifestyle Article.

Here are a few areas I’d like to ‘Share and Highlight’ as they are essential while we continue our life-long maintenance of recovery while living a beautiful lifestyle!

Some From Hazelden Article:

“For many addicts of all addictions, our lifestyle blocks our recovery. It is easy to see the problem when we have a terrible lifestyle: living with an abusive partner, hanging out with drug-dealing and drug-seeking friends, or going to bars or casinos to gamble with old friends or to prove that we can have a soft drink among all that alcohol.

Counselors and sponsors tell us that we must leave behind all negative influences to make recovery our highest priority and make Recovery First. But that doesn’t mean all your family, friends, job, and more. Yes, healing and mindful recovery have to come in first place, and yes, ahead of wife, kids, job, and other relationships that we treasure. Part of this decision is practical. If we put recovery in second (or lower) place, we will eventually lose our recovery, as well as whatever it was we put in the first place. ”

“There is also another way that lifestyle can interfere with recovery. Our mistake is taking a good, attractive lifestyle and recovery making it the center of our lives. We require our treatment and recovery goals to “fit into” our lifestyle, and not disrupt it.

“The more attractive our lifestyle, the more likely we are to COMPROMISE our recovery in search of a pleasant and comfortable way of life. Yes, it is a fine line and how complacency can sneak in. If our lifestyle is healthy, comfortable and well-rounded, we take that as a “given” fact of life and then try to accommodate our recovery without disrupting all that’s pleasurable about life” …

“In treatment, this shows up as an unwillingness to spend more than 28 days working on our recovery full time. Patients frequently say they’d love to have additional time here, but something about the home or workplace demands the highest priority instead. Many professionals feel, such as doctors and lawyers, say that they must return to their professional practice right away. Managers and directors swear that their companies could not live without them, and so the patients must get right back to work. Mistake.”

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Having FUN At A Speaking Event 4 Big Jim’s Ride, Phoenix, AZ!

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Look, I love many things in the “real world,” but what have I learned in my time of 12+yrs maintaining my recovery while living a life? “That I love the world of spirituality, sobriety, and being BET-FREE more.” It is no different than having a medical ailment or being a diabetic, as you learn to manage it as you continue living your life. But remember there is a period in early treatment and recovery that needs to be first in order to learn a healthy lifestyle while maintaining recovery.

And why I always suggest to my sponsees or friends who are “stuck and cannot move forward” to maybe work with a recovery life coach or if you are early into treatment and your recovery? Talk about it with your treatment counselor or therapist about “Lifestyle Balance,” so you can be on the right track living live the way it should be, balanced, healthy, FUN and active!

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ME, Hubby, and Mr. Randy Grimes, former NFL Pro in Purple and Dear Friend!

Childhood Abuse and Trauma Happens. It Happened To Me and It Is My Roots To Addiction … Special Guest Article.

Childhood Abuse and Trauma Happens. It Happened To Me and It Is My Roots To Addiction … Special Guest Article.

Baking Cookies; Confronting Abuse ~ by Amanda Ladwig…
{first published on October 2, 2018} ~ Delight In Disorder
Courtesy of  “Tony Roberts Blog”

 

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One of the many amazing things about truly working through childhood sexual abuse is the act of taking every single thought, and terrible memory captive and watching Christ redeem them. Facing them. Feeling them. Without making excuses. Without placing or taking the blame. The abuse and abuser no longer linger in the darkest parts of your mind controlling or tainting the memories you have.

They are front and center. Begging to be defeated. Every day, and sometimes minute-by-minute, there are battles fought to reclaim simple things, innocent objects, smells, and sounds. Things that may seem trivial to others represent a great victory. That being said, today I fought a battle and won. Today, I reclaimed what should have been a pleasant childhood memory. Today, I ate an Italian wedding cookie and enjoyed it. That won’t mean much to you, but to me, it is a significant victory.

As a little girl, trips to my aunt’s house happened only a couple of times per year. She always prepared special things to eat for our visits. However, we didn’t get to eat until I had spent some time with her brother. It was only then, after being a good girl and “spending time with my boyfriend,” as he referred to himself, that I would have access to my favorite cookies.  It didn’t take long before those cookies became like poison. For the mere smell of almond or amaretto to make me physically ill.

However, after 30 years of hiding all of the sordid details of my childhood. I believe the Holy Spirit, moving, convinced me it was time. Time to bury old demons and the only way I could do that was to reclaim the territory my enemy had taken so many years ago. Cookies.

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Loved One Depression 2

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My daughter and I baked them together. The house filled with the very familiar and slightly terrifying scent. As I paused before taking a bite, I reminded myself of where I was and the person I was with. I watched my daughter dance around singing about how good it was. I took in that very moment, and I took a bite.

It was wonderful. Not only did it taste good, but I felt strong. As if I was declaring to my abuser “No!  You may not have these cookies!  You defiled my innocence, but you may not steal my ability to enjoy a cookie!” My life is full of moments like that. Every day there is a battle fought and sometimes won. They often go unnoticed by the people closest to me. However, they are mighty victories.

My children will never know that this was an important day for me. That there was a time I considered Italian wedding cookies toxic and terrifying.  They will always enjoy the smell and taste, and hopefully, it will stir wonderful memories.

There are often things we carry from our childhood that restrain our ability to enjoy simple things. It destroys our ability to accept and receive the good things God intended for us to have. Love and intimacy are one of those things. Just as the smell of a particular type of cookie triggered a reaction of fear and shame, the idea of love can seem meant for destruction. Therefore, the very idea that God “loves” us terrifies us. Love to an abuse survivor often means manipulation and pain.

The first, time I heard the verse, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” my reaction was not joy or amazement. My reaction was suspicion. I wanted to know what He wanted from me. Surely, I now owed Him something, or it was a trick.

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It took me years to begin to understand that Christ chose me; He loves me not because He needs me for anything. He did not send His son to die for me in an attempt to guilt me into trusting Him or doing things for Him. He chose me and loves me because He is God. He is all sufficient.

I cannot reclaim my childhood. I still battle with depression and flashbacks. However, I can now, through Christ, reclaim how I react to things. I can choose feeling pleasure over feeling fear, and I can choose love over hate. I can choose these things because Christ has given me the power and ability. This is part of the freedom found in Christ.

Freedom to love.

Freedom to forgive.

Freedom to rejoice.

Freedom to enjoy a cookie.