Hello Recovery Friends, Seekers, and New Visitors,
This is my very FIRST http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/daily-prompt-confusion/ post to be part of a DP challenge! But this topic not only intrigued me, but I also find it an opportunity to “Advocate” for the “Stigma” around these issues. See, even though “I LIVE LIFE” in Recovery, I also have a daily life challenge with, Bipolar 2 disorder, with manic depression, and Panic with Agoraphobia disorder too.
My Bipolar illness went undiagnosed for years, until I got tangled up in a Compulsive Gambling Addiction, which brought ALL the symptoms of my Bipolar to the fore front. In the “Spirit”of this daily prompt challenge, I can not explain to you in words of how this made me feel. I did have overwhelming feelings of “Confusion, and felt like I was never going to be a “Normal” person ever again, what ever the HELL normal really is??
Much of that I feel comes from them being ignorant, and they took the route of, “Out of sight, Out of mind”…..Even my father, and 2 sisters have not spoken to me, or have had any communication with me for over 8 years! How would that MAKE YOU FEEL?…..
NO, I’m NOT a victim of ANYTHING, not from mental illness, nor my recovery from addicted compulsive gambling! I’M A SURVIVOR! It’s why I wrote my book. To be able to give the public some “Insight” into the “Ugly” world of Addicted Gambling, and living with Mental illness, and expose those feelings of “NOT BEING NORMAL” & in a Land of Confusion. WHY did I write about my personal story?
Because in 2002, and 2006, I tried to commit “SUICIDE,” and for some reason was not successful. WHY? I believe it was not by coincidence! It was a *MIRACLE* performing man called “GOD”…….I was not a huge fan in “Believing in a power bigger than myself,” which I learned in my recovery treatment group, and in my Gamblers Anonymous meetings. IT was not until GOD grab my hospital gown for the 2nd time, and I kid you not, whispered in my ear,……”Catherine, not your time. You have work to do to help others in recovery” and didn’t want *SUICIDE* to ever be an OPTION for anyone!
“GOD GAVE ME MY PURPOSE IN LIFE THAT DAY”
No, I’m not a crazy “Bible Thumper” or a Religious Nut, I’m just a regular woman, just a blessed Christian woman who now has “Faith & Believes” in god. He has given me a “Purposeful Life” and direction on what I’m to be doing for “OTHERS,” and for those who suffer any addiction, recovery, and “Advocate” for those who are touched by “Mental & Emotional illness” as I do. I do it through my book and my recovery blog here.
“And No, I don’t consider myself a “Professional” writer or blogger. I just write what I “FEEL,” and share it here with my Recovery friends.”
SO, Today I can say, I NO LONGER LIVE IN “THE LAND OF CONFUSION” *AMEN*!
God Bless All!
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon