Dear Diary,….Today I….Want to go back to Oregon!!

HELLO RECOVERY FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS, AND NEW VISITORS,

Well…..we made AND survived the long trip from Oregon to where I’m blogging from, Glendale, AZ. It was an interesting trip to say the least. I only had 2 Panic Attacks on the road, tried to convince my husband we didn’t have to leave Oregon the morning we had to get out of our Apt…..THAT’S the Agoraphobia……and on the road we went. Left all the big stuff in a Storage Unit in Oregon so I know we are coming BACK!!  All our clothes and essentials put in box’s to take with us to Arizona. Pretty sad when you can have HALF your LIFE in box’s ….But, the lord tells us what we OWN or DON’T HAVE does not speak or define who you are Inside.

Had one Panic Attack as we were going through Lake Shasta, such a beautiful place, but it’s been years since the last time I was in a car traveling. It sounds so dumb, but for those of us who suffer from Bipolar or any Emotional disorder’s, a long car ride can be a wee bit scary!!  2nd day was better, but as we rolled into Arizona the heat was not to my liking…LOL..
Then by 8:30pm, the drama started, and I had another Panic attack, went outside by the pool, and had my first release of stress, tension, these past years of financial pressures, and trying to go from just me & my hubby to now a house of seven people with a long cry.

They had a family meeting of how their house runs, like power and solar power, what goes in trash & recycle bins, and how they do their family meals for dinners, and a few other things that I felt they needed to be reminded that we not insensitive to others in the house, but they also need to understand that my hubby & I are married and have a relationship. And there will be times when we may want to eat & buy our own food. Will chip in with money for utilities and things, but food will by on our  own . Will chip in for essentials, but not to fair when there is only 2 of us and 5 of them in the family.

So, the next day I happen to put on some Bath & Body works lotion on after my shower. I went upstairs to get a soda and my hubby’s brother came UNCLUED because of the smell…..Now NO one told me he has allergies and is sensitive to scents, but IT WAS THEY WAY HE APPROCHED the Subject. He started yelling and complaining that I needed to go wash the CRAP I HAD ON that Smelled like berries off Right Now, because he can’t stand heavy smells…….I was like…..WTF??

So I went downstairs to my room, and he was still carrying on about it and making all this DRAMA over body lotion???  Then he was talking about me, So I went back upstairs and SPOKE MY MIND!…1st off….DON’T RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME….2nd….DON’T DEMAND ANYTHING from ME, and 3rd,…..MAYBE if you were NICE about asking me to not wear ANY scented things because of your allergies like A NORMAL PERSON, it would have been NO PROBLEM for me to do. I also told him DON’T EVER TALK TO ME THAT WAY…..

I just knew this was a Bad Idea, but I have to support my husbands choice. We needed to have a fresh start. This really was taking a toll on our relationship. We have been married for 24yrs on Sept 29th, and have been together for 25. We have come a long way, but I WILL NOT Let his family continue the stress we had for so long, to come here and have to be under tension and stress all over again. My EMOTIONAL STATE and Moods can’t take much more.

So I hope TOM starts at his New Store  on Monday so we can start saving money for a little place of our own, or I pray each night that the lord will please help speed up the Federal Lawsuit for my SSI benefits decision! Until then,
I’ll take a day at a time. I’ll be back to update my Diary on Sunday or Monday. I’m Not
supposed to be blogging, but on vacation!….LOL…Keep the Support & Prayers coming!
I really appreciate them, and they helped get us here SAFE!

God Bless,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

 

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2 thoughts on “Dear Diary,….Today I….Want to go back to Oregon!!

  1. Hey Catherine – So glad to hear you two made it ok but it sounds like the trip was the least of it. My ex-wife suffers from many of the things you do, so I am familiar with your battles. On the SSI, I don’t know where you are at on that but I can tell you what happened with Judith, My ex. She is on disability SSI for agrophobia, and all the other stuff too. First time she was disapproved. She tried again (not an appeal, she tried again) and saw a different counselor…a woman that time. Told her about her childhood history and was almost given the approval right then and there. Good counselor.
    Hang in there Sweety – being back with family is always crazy once you leave and then come back, especially if it’s for more than just a visit. Love and prayers to both of you. Husband sounds like a good man. WooHoo for him!!

    Like

    • Thanks So much George!
      I truly am BLESSED in the Hubby department!!…LOL…He really is a wonderful man MOST the Time…LOL.
      Yes, we got in Saturday Evening in Glendale, AZ….and the HEAT bought knocked me over! 🙂
      But, better then being Homeless. HA! Kept my Recovery in Tact…..And for me….I always Take It One Day At a Time!
      Hugs & Blessings, Catherine 🙂

      Like

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