HELLO FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS, NEW VISITORS,
I happen to stumble upon an interesting Google+ post that was posted by a friend of mine in my “Circles”, *Troy Mc Laughlin* and it was about a “Writing Contest” on his friends website, Bryan Hutchinson. So, “I am participating in the “Writing Contest: You Are A Writer’ held by Positive Writer – See more details at: http://positivewriter.com if your interested too!
Now, I have NEVER entered a writing contest before,….EVER….and the sheer thought brings on a “Panic Attack” in 0–to–60 seconds!!
But, what caught my eye was WHY he was presenting this contest, and the questions that should be pondered and answered within your Essay if you chose to pick up a pen and write it,…… SO,…….Here I go!
Most of my working life was spent in Banking and Finance, and Collections. I hated math, and my grades in that area proved it. Funny, I still became a Banker. I had a pretty normal life as a kid, up until the first time I was abused by a friend of my dad’s. Then again by a friend of my older brother. From 9 to 12 years old this happened to me……AND NO Little Girl should ever have to endure this, and it just made me retreat within myself. Not to mention the physical abuse used by my mother as her form of disciplining us kids.
The two together was all I needed to use as an excuse later in life, when all those “UGLY” memories resurfaced in my late 30’s, early 40’s that I had stuffed away so deeply. Before I knew it, I started to use a form of *FUN & Entertainment*~~ *Gambling, as a way to “Escape” all the pain and hurt that began to HAUNT ME, and not knowing how to DEAL with it in a healthy, and proper manner, I gambled and gambled, until it had me on my knee’s begging G-D to let me DIE……..WELL,…..be careful what you wish for!!
After two different attempts to leave this world, two hospital stays, and two entries into an Addiction/Mental Crisis Center,……I finally entered Recovery! I had to work my butt off to GET MY LIFE BACK! Hundreds of Gamblers Anonymous meetings, hour and hours of Therapy, Working the 12-Steps, and a couple of RELAPSES, I finally found my way into long-term recovery for over 6+ years now and counting……..NOW, Your asking yourself, WHAT does all this have to do with WHY you’re a Writer????……I’ll tell you,…..I don’t really consider myself as ONE!
I say this because I was not college educated, never took a writing class, hated English in High School, (GASP!)…..I’m just a WOMAN who happened to write a *Little Story,* MY story of addiction, mental illness, childhood trauma, dark family secrets, and RECOVERY.
It’s what my New published book is about. How it came to be was this,……..
I woke up to another rainy day in So. Oregon to find my hubby had already left for work. I noticed he left our local newspaper on the counter, I picked it up, sat down and began to read. A small article headline happen to catch my attention, so I read it. It was about a woman police and Hotel workers found in a hotel room, at a Large Indian Casino about 42 miles North of my home. I’d been there myself many times. Her body was found dead on the floor in the bathroom due to a gunshot wound to the head. No name was released, as they where still trying to find her family.
The corner said that it did not look like foul play, but from an apparent suicide…..and as I continued reading I noticed a tear drop on the paper. I could feel this woman’s SOUL…..I knew just how she was feeling when she pulled THAT TRIGGER! I say this, because the article also said that a blood soaked NOTE was left behind for the family saying, “Tell my family I am Deeply sorry, I just could not STOP GAMBLING” and my HEART BROKE for her. WHY, I was almost HER!
So, to answer ALL the Questions of this Essay Contest, When did I know I was a writer? After my book was published. I wrote my book in 2011, and was very afraid of what others would think or say about all the *UGLY* things I did while in my gambling addiction! Even though I KNOW MY PAST does not define me as a Person, the *STIGMA* around addiction and mental illness sadly still exists. What lead me to write? It was “This woman’s Tragedy and my Own” so I wrote my book so others can have “INSIGHT” into the world of *Addicted Gambling* the *UGLY SIDE* of this cunning disease, and how it CAN destroy lives like it did mine.
I will say this, after ALL was said and done, I will admit that I love Writing! I feel that even after all I’ve been through in life, writing has become a Passion for me, a daily living Journal of my life. I have Two Blogs that I enjoy blogging about, Recovery and the other about Writing and helping others get published. It’s all about writers having their “VOICES HEARD”…..Everyone I believe has a story to tell. And even out of trials & tribulations, there is also a Blessing at the end……..Mine just happen to be WRITING! AM I a professional writer?…..HARDLY.
I think I’ll let my Readers, Blog Followers, and The World Judge if I AM……
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
“Addicted To Dimes”(Confessions of a liar and a Cheat)
“THE CRUELEST LIES ARE OFTEN TOLD IN SILENCE” *Robert Louis Stevenson*