*Being Uncomfortable*


*This truly is for me how I feel on days when my Depression seems to get the best of me! I came across this on a wonderful website I go to often called, www.MyAddiction.com  They are really good people who run this site. They have some fantastic information, facts, and articles about all types of Addictions, and Mental Health issues. They were the first website who gave me my 1st *Guest Recovery Writing* job*

I wrote a 3 part Trilogy about my addiction to compulsive gambling, my issues with  mental/emotional disorders, and recovery. I don’t like to talk much about my own health issues, but I find if I don’t, like many who suffer as I, we won’t be able to chance how people look at us. We are human like everyone else, and long to be accepted as such.

I suffer from not only depression, but Panic disorder that has also now combined with Agoraphobia. Besides having the fear and panic that can come on out of nowhere, I also get an intense irrational fear in which I will end up having a panic response in certain open or closed spaces, and in uncertain situations. I won’t leave the house by myself, or leave the house at all! It happens when I travel long distance in a car, plane,…etc. Being in a large store or crowd, or even just standing in a long line.

I get these overwhelming feelings of not being able to escape in embarrassing or difficult situations. It is very debilitating!! So, now you understand why, when I say how Grateful I am to others SO much, I mean it. Because having a Laptop and being able to interact with others through the internet has been a life saver for me. I go at times for days without going out of my house. It is really hard to talk about, I get embarrassed about it.

I’ve lost friends because of this, and even though it has been years that I’ve talked to my father and two other sisters, when I did go down to visit, they all treated me different. I made the mistake of taking my meds in front of them, ones I take to help, and after that, they treated me like I was going to go Postal or something.

So, I feel that this is part of why they have been estranged from me after my mom passed.
That was the very last time I was down visiting. So lets just remember, as we go along our day, lets be kind to one another, because we just never know what ONE person maybe going through *IN SILENCE*  God Bless Everyone, *Catherine*

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